Why George Bush is Brilliant :: Wessex Scene Online

Why George Bush is Brilliant

6th May 2006
Luke Catterson

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Nov 04 - Award for Outstanding Achievement
Jun 06 - Is it OK to be shallow?
Mar 06 - The war on terror...?
May 07 - Life’s lessons learnt
May 07 - Are you happy?

More by Luke Catterson

May 07 - Life’s lessons learnt
May 07 - Are you happy?
Mar 07 - The Bus Driver
Feb 07 - Dave Johnson escapes from Asylum
Dec 06 - Sappiness induces super powers?

I am in no way political. I had considered voting Labour but it sounds like hard work, and I’m too reserved to vote Conservative. As a result I was about to vote Liberal but I decided everyone deserves a chance so it wouldn’t be fair for me to pick a favourite.

I can’t understand why people enjoy debating politics. Everybody forms their own opinion, and then takes great pleasure in telling everybody else about it. It is impossible to change somebody’s view and so such a political debate results in the same points being argued with more and more vigour as the day/evening/night wears on. The only thing people seem to be able to agree on is that George Bush is an idiot. Interestingly, this is the only political point I wish to challenge.

Due to my general political ignorance I am not going to defend his political agenda as I don’t really know what it is. One thing that bothers me is that nobody else really does either. Everybody jumps on the ‘Bush is rubbish’ bandwagon spouting all this nonsense about how the war was the worst thing to happen in human history. It is basically politics for dummies: people who have no clue as to how a country is run are able to wax lyrical as if they don’t actually read the Daily Mail.

I intend to defend the man as I think he is intentionally funny. Everywhere you look there are posters, diaries, books of Bush’s phrases. He is mocked for being incredibly stupid, for saying things like: "More and more of our imports are coming from overseas." To me that is just a good joke, a one-liner that is better than most that appear in various forms of media. If this joke was told by Paul Merton hiding behind his bemused persona it would rightly be heralded, quite, as good comedy.

Another much-mocked line is when he spoke of "dark clouds approaching" upon his election. This is just a fine example of self-deprecating humour. People moan about the Royal Family (who I am also fond of) because they are not in touch with the public, they are not in touch with the common man. Then George Bush makes a self-deprecating joke to endear him to the world and it seemingly only endears him to me. The rest of the world needs to make its mind up as to what it wants from a head of state. Most of the other ‘Bushisms’ are just pieces of poor grammar, this again just makes George more accessible in my eyes; I think we are all guilty of saying "when", when we mean "whence".

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test," is my last Bushism example. Again I cannot understand why this is deemed an example of idiocy. To me George is simply showing an effective grasp of irony, something that no football commentator has ever done. Two goalkeepers of the same nationality playing against each other is nothing more than a coincidence.

The latest piece of Bush bashing I was unfortunate enough to witness was on some BBC 3 topical programme. There is footage of George leaving a press conference and walking up to a locked door, he tries it and then covers the embarrassment by saying "I was trying to escape but they stopped me." He then leaves via another door. There is nothing wrong with that, I think he played it perfectly. BBC 3 obviously agrees as to make it funny they had to doctor the footage. They showed him walking to the door then trying it; they rewound the footage and showed it again, making it look like George was repeatedly trying the door because he was stupid. They then had a voiceover saying: "He’s trying the door, is it still locked? Yep, still locked George, is he going to try again? Yes he is, one more go."

This is just ridiculous; you could make anyone look foolish by doing this. If I took footage of Neil Armstrong stepping on the moon and kept rewinding it so he put a foot on the moon and then retracted it with a voiceover saying "Neil Armstrong is scared of the moon, will he stand on it? No he’s scared, he’s putting a foot down, but he’s going back, he’s too scared to step on the moon, what a girl." Even Neil Armstrong would then look foolish.

So while I am in no position to defend George Bush as a politician, as a man I think he is funny. He is amusing and tells some great jokes. There are comedians (some of whom are quite famous) who merely quote things he has said in order to get laughs. Not only is George helping to run the most powerful country in the world, but he is also writing gags for hundreds of comedians around the world. He has developed a wonderful persona that brings mirth to millions and if he is completely oblivious to all of the laughs he creates, then Neil Armstrong is afraid of the moon.