Short and to the pointless :: Wessex Scene Online

Short and to the pointless

11th June 2006
Darren Richman

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Mar 05 - David 'peep show' Mitchell Interview
Jan 05 - Political Correctness gone mad

Blink 182 sang of All the Small Things. Scott Walker talked of Little Things (That Keep Us Together). Hell, even moody old Morrissey told us Such a Little Thing Makes Such a Big Difference. Size, it appears, does not matter.

I recall a conversation with a friend in my very first week at this university last year. Things were very different in those glorious days of yore. Franz Ferdinand and The Killers ruled the airwaves. My, how times have changed. My friend, whom we shall call Henry (primarily because that is his name), was talking about Saddam Hussein. Henry informed me that he had read an article in which it transpired that Saddam was hoarding nuclear weapons and selling crack cocaine to children. Regardless of the authenticity of these statements, my friend’s reaction surprised me somewhat. In his own words: "That’s all well and good so long as there aren’t any wasps around."

Although at Henry’s words I was slightly taken aback, I couldn’t help but agree with the sentiment and felt that his honesty reflected something rather significant about human nature. In truth, most of us spend more time concerned with seemingly trivial issues that affect our everyday lives than reflecting on meaningful global issues.

I, for one, am unashamed to admit that I have been more frustrated by Manchester United dropping points at home to an easy side than any government policy initiated during my lifetime. I have been more profoundly irritated by discovering a piece of chewing gum lodged on the underside of my shoe than any attack launched by an American President. Call me absurdly selfish (as I have no doubt you are) but during my school days, cruelty towards animals disgusted me less than coming across an old bogey lodged in a textbook by a previous owner.

That is not to say that I am entirely unconcerned with events beyond my immediate field of vision. It is just that I find it difficult to fully immerse myself in issues quite so foreign. On the other hand, the things that cause me delight are equally small in stature.

A smile from a bus driver, the new track on a Greatest Hits collection actually proving to be pretty good, Ronnie Corbett. These little things make me smile. In a nightclub a few months ago I noticed that the bar staff continually opted to serve people who had joined the queue after I had. Suitably infuriated (or inebriated) I observed that "This is the most unjust thing since the 2005 FA Cup Final." The stranger waiting patiently next to me smiled and revealed that he, too, was a United fan. We began an amiable chat about the nature of injustice, football, and being served at a bar. Eventually, the barman approached my new friend and implored him to make his order at which point he simply pointed directly at me and my heart leapt. To this day, I have no idea which of us was the first to enter that line but the behaviour of this gentleman restored my faith in human nature. I gather Gandhi did a fair bit of good work, but would he have allowed me to be served before him at Cheapskates just off Oxford Street? I’m not sure.

On another occasion, I was sitting on the tube with a close friend. At one point, our train passed another travelling in the opposite direction and we spotted a solitary figure in a carriage all to himself. The lone traveller glanced up, spotted us and immediately broke into the widest grin and most enthusiastic wave I have ever been privileged to receive. My friend and I waved back and burst into hysterics simultaneously. Once our laugher had subsided, my companion turned to me and said "I am certain that bloke would be our best mate if we knew him." We knew nothing of this mysterious stranger beyond his proficiency in boosting our spirits using only his body language and yet Jonny (for that is his name) was certain this man was best friend material. And I couldn’t agree more.

In his final television interview, the late great singer-songwriter Warren Zevon was asked by David Letterman if there was anything he understood now, having been diagnosed with cancer and facing his own mortality, that he didn’t know before. Zevon paused before replying: "Just how much you’re supposed to enjoy every sandwich." On a personal level, I absolutely loathe sandwiches. But I think I know what he was on about.

Finally, if I may borrow one final sentiment (and I think I may), I believe it was Sherlock Holmes who once remarked: "It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important."

Apologies for the excess of quotations, this piece probably requires a bibliography. Oh, and if you haven’t enjoyed the article, just comfort yourself with the fact that at least it’s not very long.