As the year draws to a close, I’m reflecting back on my first year as a university student at Southampton, and I, like many other (now ex-) Freshers, have learned a lot about the important minutiae of life. Here are some of the vital life lessons I have come to understand.
– Washing up will not do itself. It just won’t. Unless you’re a wizard. Which you probably aren’t.
– No matter how much you want to, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to attend all the taster sessions for the flyers you picked up at the Bunfight, so it’s better to wave a hasty goodbye to those dreams of becoming a professional scuba-diving salsa-dancing trombone-playing trampolinist at quite an early stage, and maybe just focus on a couple of things.
– It is absolutely ok to have at least one takeaway a week.
– Jesters is indeed the Palace of Dreams, and your “Jesters shoes” should be more valued and looked after than Cinderella’s glass slippers.
– It probably doesn’t bode well for second year when you become totally reliant on the fact that your cleaner will empty the bin for you every day and do most of your dirty work after a particularly messy pre-drinks in your kitchen.
-There may be certain completely crazy, ridiculous, illogical people who, for reasons only known to themselves, refused to use the halls washing machines for most of the year, because they and said washing machines “don’t see eye to eye”, resorting to washing in their sink and taking a huge amount of laundry home for their naturally very appreciative mother. These people are idiots.
– A plate of chicken dippers, potato wedges and garlic bread is, in fact, an entirely acceptable meal.
-Try not to ever complain to anyone who isn’t a first year about how much you hate walking to campus. Just think about that comfortable, free-bus-pass-sized weight in your pocket, because soon enough you too will be stripped of this highest of privileges.
– Unless Buzzfeed has a really interesting article which can tell you all about that thing that will almost definitely come up in your exam, it probably is not going to help you with your revision. I know it hurts, but those pictures of pugs in fancy dress can wait.