Diary of an Erratic Erasmus Student :: Wessex Scene Online

Diary of an Erratic Erasmus Student

11th December 2009
Almaz Ohene

Rate this story

Nov 09 - Diary of an Erratic Erasmus Student
May 09 - In Munich: From Bratwurst to Bavaria
Dec 08 - Exploring Standing Stones
Dec 09 - Dawn & Dusk: From the Poles to Tropics
Dec 09 - A Winter Escape to Beautiful Borocay

More by Almaz Ohene

Feb 10 - Diary of an Erratic Erasmus Student
Nov 09 - Diary of an Erratic Erasmus Student
May 09 - Brazil! Where Hearts were Entertained
May 09 - Agony Aunt? Rant? Misfortune? Cynical?
Mar 09 - The Cosmopolitan Capital

This time my baggage consisted of just enough underwear to last a week, two pairs of jeans and my passport.

Thursday
German words spoken - 7, Bratwursts consumed- 2, References to The War- 2
Unpacked my meagre collection of possessions and made my bed with one pillow and sleeping bag. Was trying hard to save money so wouldn’t bother buying homeware like duvets, pillows, trinkets and posters for my room. Only had twenty kilos of weight to fly with, so had to really travel light. No box sets of House, no volumes of journalism, and no stacks of travel and fashion magazines that I usually pack.
Being in the hostel for an entire week had wiped out all my clean stuff. Whacked my dirty laundry into the washing machine and headed off to campus for the German equivalent of the ‘Bun Fight’ sans lingerie.
Collected my bags of free stuff and cocked my ear for any hint of English chatter. “It’s busy innit. Wotcha, I’m being crushed here”. A-ha, an American and her Bangladeshi mate. Have adopted them as my friends.

Friday
German words spoken - 2, Bratwursts consumed- 1, References to The War- 0Came up in a load of bites. Were there bed bugs, ants, or something worse? Stripped the bed and attacked it with the vacuum cleaner. Take that, you dirty little arthropods.
Opened a bank account. Was relatively painless. Now, let me get in touch with my UK bank and tell them to transfer money and I’ll be all sorted. But, the course of international banking never did run smooth. Suspension of my telephone and online banking. WTF!
“It’s my money, just because I can’t produce some convoluted password system that I set up years ago, doesn’t mean that I’m trying to defraud your bank.”
“Oh, just pop into a branch and we’ll reset it all for you.”
“But I’m in GERMANY.”

Sunday
Words of German spoken – 8, Bratwursts consumed- 1, References to The War- 2Decided my room wasn’t nearly as cluttered enough so asked Mr------ about homeware shops. Frankfurt took my Ikea virginity. And to be honest it did hurt (my pocket) but it was also a very pleasurable experience. Got the usual Ikea fodder of crazy lamps and self-adhesive decorations. Unfortunately they didn’t accept any of my cards, so now running low on cash.

Monday
German words spoken - 14, Bratwursts consumed- 2, References to The War- 1
First lecture. Rather incomprehensible, sat in the corner with glasses on, nodding and attempting to look intelligent. Might have understood more if the lecturer hadn’t waffled on in fast German. I could have sworn classes are supposed to be taught in English.

Tuesday
German words spoken - 7, Bratwursts consumed- 2, References to The War- 3
Collected my Studienausweis Goethecard from Ms Bauer and can now breathe easy about travelling. Now, to deal with setting up my Uni Internet account. I had to have my wits about me for this one. A message popped up on screen in large bold letters:
Altes Passwort war falsch! Zu wenige Zeichen, bitte genau 8 Zeichen setzten. Das neue Passwort muss aus mindestens einer Zahl, Klein- und Grossbuchstaben und einem Sonderzeichen bestehen.
My school girl German really wasn’t up to fathoming out this warning, so to my trusty online translators:
Old password was wrong! Too few signs, please exactly 8 signs placed. The new password must exist of at least one number, small letter and capital letter and a special character.
Fine, I’ll do it again their way. But what’s this? Another warning:
Das neue Passwort muss aus mindestens einer Zahl, Klein- und Grossbuchstaben und einem Sonderzeichen bestehen.
OK, so I need the new password to contain at least one lower case letter, one capital letter, a special character, oh and be exactly eight characters long. They’re not asking much are they?!

Wednesday
German words spoken - 7, Bratwursts consumed- 2, References to The War- 1
Linguistics class. Mind-bogglingly difficult. Glottal stops, Affricates, Syllabic Nasals. Hmmm.
“Almaz, is it?’” She squinted to read my name card. “Almaz. You’re a native speaker right? Can you read these words off the board, please.”
The lecturer looked shocked as I enunciated the words. Had to explain that because I was brought up in The North I speak differently from how they’d imagine the Queen asking; “Oh, could you paarse me the glaass of water please”, when it’s more a case of, “Oi, gi us, t’glass o’ wa’er, ta.”
Excruciatingly embarrassing to find myself with masses of raw egg plastered on my face when non-native speakers, ask me about auxiliary verbs and all I can do is stutter, “Ah. See, auxill… well, auxiliary verbs, they, umm…” Evidently they didn’t teach us anything worth knowing at state school.
Courses taught in English at Johann von Goethe Universität:
• English & American Literature
• Linguistics & Education Studies
• International Relations
• Theatre, Film and Media Studies
• Economics (English models)