The last two weeks have seen an alarming wave of crime in Portswood suggesting that local burglars are tuned-in to the academic calendar.

On the evening of Monday 30th a student house in Alma Road was broken into via the front door. Unfortunately not one of the seven 2nd year boys from the house was in to scare the thieves away and they made off with a haul including a laptop, DVD player, minidisc player, clothes and a watch. Police took details and offered advice on crime prevention.

They were lucky it seems, further down Alma Road on the following evening Samantha was home alone. Thankfully she had bumped into one of her recently burgled neighbours and was on her guard. At 01:30 she heard someone on the front path of her house and  looked out of the window to see a man in his 20’s with a screwdriver. She shouted, “can I help you”. He offered a lame excuse asking for directions and then moved off. Whilst he was still to be seen loitering up the road Samantha called the police, explained that she was alone, got her crime reference number and waited for some assisstance - none came; the police never turned up.

The following day our brave heroine had the good fortune to spot an officer of the law in Alma Road, she recounted the events of the previous night. Even though he was the beat officer for the area he was oblivious to both the attempted burglary and the previous night’s successful break-in. His response suggested there was little the police could do and that student’s houses always get burgled in freshers’ week.

SUSU PRESIDENT DONE OVER

Cowardly thieves have struck at the heart of the Students’ Union, relieving the President, Tim Rowlandson, of his laptop computer. A broken window is the only evidence of what possibly could be an inside job; either that or a very lucky tealeaf was just passing by. Anyone know whodunit? Answers on a postcard to the Wessex Scene.

CLOWNING AROUND

The popular student drinking den Clowns was the victim of a break-in last week. Rumour has it that a video and some booze were stolen, however, the manager of Clowns refused to discuss the matter with our reporter even after she waited for half an hour to see him! I hope he doesn’t think we done it. A more likely source of hostility is due to the Union withdrawing Athletic Union nights from said drinking establishment.

STUDENTS TERRORISED

Accomodation problems were soon forgotten by freshers’ celebrating their first Friday night in Southampton at Stoneham Bar. Three baseball bat weilding locals smashed windows and shouted abuse as students looked on in terror. Sadly this is all we have come to expect from the more pikey contingent of the Flowers Estate, an area which increasingly resembles a warzone, largely ignored by the police and closed off to all but armed militia.

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