Soton Tab bravely defies tyrannical regime at SUSU

In an example of bold journalistic endeavour that will surely go down in history alongside the likes of the Watergate scandal or the revelations concerning children’s entertainer Zippy’s shocking cocaine habit, the valourous heroes at Southampton’s finest independent gossip rag have struck a mighty blow against the wannabe dictators who callously rule from deep inside their Führerbunker, or as their propaganda department insists on calling it – Building 42.

The Soton Tab, which is renowned throughout the English-speaking world for being the proud institution Southampton’s students deserve, but not the one they need right now, has recently had to resist SUSU’s jackbooted attempts to silence its voice. Its writers were unambiguously the victims of a deliberate attempt at censorship by party officials as they sought to bear witness to the odious process SUSU had carefully plotted in the run-up to the announcements regarding the annual show election that it insists on populating entirely with brown-nosers and friendly, enthusiastic members of the university’s student body. Fortunately, when faced with an injustice of such a magnificently trivial nature, the Soton Tab wisely decided to embark on a course of action which in no way resembled that of a baby throwing its toys out of the pram.

Attempts to discredit the people’s favourite digital receptacle for fish and chips have historically taken the form of comments inserted beneath their articles featuring vindictive attacks on the character of our peers and attempts to manufacture controversy. It goes without saying that these anonymous remarks are clearly the work of spineless plants, given their similarity to the hyperbolic chicken scratches typical of attention-deprived adolescents. Let us hope that the Soton Tab will soon return to its primary mission of publishing catcalls and comebacks hatched while daydreaming during a particularly boring lecture.

Everyone 20 February 2013 at 2:15 pm

Please stop.

Reply

Alistair Steward 20 February 2013 at 2:19 pm

Genuine LOL

ahhhh 20 February 2013 at 2:20 pm

Come on Wessex Scene, you really aren’t doing yourselves any favours here!

Pause, on the whole, is very good – but this article seems very petty. I know it’s meant to be a joke but it really isn’t working. Sorry.

Soton Tab Reporter 20 February 2013 at 2:30 pm

Publication names should be in italics #justsayin

bridget clay 20 February 2013 at 2:35 pm

*snooze* Publishing whole blog-like ‘articles’ on the matter is not a great way to stop “pointing the finger”, and start “drawing positives” from the situation as you so famously want to do. Make your mind up. I appreciate Pause is meant to be a joke-y, entertaining section, but this article isn’t even funny tbh

Dedicated Reader 20 February 2013 at 2:36 pm

You forgot to move this article back to your old site: http://new.wessexscene.co.uk/reporting-live-events-lessons-susu-media-needs-to-learn/

Maria Hutchings 20 February 2013 at 2:41 pm

A bye-election on our doorstep and this is the best you can come up with.

If the WS is the high brow publication it claims to be, prove it?

Alexander James GreenFebruary 20th, 2013 at 11:13 pm