Jon North and David Martin, the two candidates in the running for the position of VP Democracy and Creative Industries this year, were found today to actually be the same person.

Despite their similarity in appearance, few people had made the connection until a survey revealed that 100% of students had never seen the two men in a room together. Suspicions were confirmed when a cleaner saw the Martin/North hybrid changing shirts between different public appearances to give the illusion of being a different person.

A SUSUtv insider has said that the filmed live debate between the two candidates was actually shot using a greenscreen, confirming that only one of the two exists:

“We’ve actually known for a few weeks now, but we didn’t think it would make any difference. We experimented with androids, but we couldn’t get the personality right. As it is, I’m voting for Jon Martin. Or is it David North? I don’t really know.”

The imposter had even written the same manifesto twice but changed some of the buzzwords to throw off anybody tracking him. Suggestions that one of the candidates is actually just wearing the other’s face as a mask are as of yet unfounded.

Screen shot 2013-02-21 at 17.50.32

On the left is an evil, elections-programmed clone. On the right is another.

More articles in SUSU Elections 2013
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  2. SUSU Election Nominations OPEN!
  3. The Big Reveal – Live Blog From The Cube
  4. SUSU Elections 2013 – Candidate Overload?
  5. Briefing Our SUSU Sabbatical Candidates
  6. Full List Of SUSU Student Leader, Trustee & Union Councillor Candidates
  7. Full List Of SUSU Sabbatical Candidates (With Interviews)
  8. Elections 2013: What Do You Think?
  9. Online Campaigning for SUSU Elections is Now Open
  10. Time Change for Election Campaigns
  11. Communities Sabb Candidate Pulls out of Elections
  12. DCI Candidates Revealed to be the Same Person
  13. Full Campaigning Now Open for Elections 2013
  14. Sabbatical Debates 2013
  15. SUSU Elections 2013 – Who’s Winning The Facebook Vote?
  16. Presidential Candidate Breaches Elections Rules
  17. SUSUtv’s Lipdub, a History and Elections 2013 Exclusive
  18. Errors Mar Opening Of SUSU Election Voting
  19. Your Election Results: What the Candidates Thought Pre Results
  20. SUSU Elections 2013: Dates & Details Announced
  21. SUSUtv Results Night Live – What Can We Expect?
  22. Only Fresher Who Cared About Elections Dies Of Exhaustion
  23. SUSU Elections 2013 – Should Sabbs Be Allowed To Re-Run?
  24. Voting Now Closed for SUSU Elections 2013
  25. SUSU Elections 2013 – A Guide To The Alternative Vote
  26. SUSU Elections Voting – One Hour Left!
  27. Your Elections: Campaigning in Pictures
  28. SUSU Elections 2013 – Who’s Got Your Vote?
  29. Your Elections: Results Night In Pictures
  30. Elections 2013: How Successful Was The New System?

5 Comments »

Leave your response!

  • Jon North
    avatar

    Sam I’m sorry to have to do this to you but you can’t get away with exposing SUSU’s secret cloning program like this. I’m afraid you’ll have to come with me.

    Reply

    Sam Everard
    avatar

    But Jon, I didn’t write this article! Take the anonymous reporter, spare me!

    Reply

    Jon North
    avatar

    Or whoever you are…

    Reply

  • furious student
    avatar

    I cant believe someone would actually do this to try and guarantee winning. I hope they get told to step down, which ever one they are.

    Reply

  • Lord of SUSU
    avatar

    Im personally very supportive that an evil clone wants to run our union, democracy has become very cheerful and happy with the new democracy dept and a certain spiky-haired sabb, when really democracy is a cruel bitch of a system where only the strongest and most ruthless win elections and surivive.

    Plus, im sure our erudite queen of all things welfare, Chloe Green, would welcome a non-human robotic thing that wears lots of makeup.

    Reply