Jon North and David Martin, the two candidates in the running for the position of VP Democracy and Creative Industries this year, were found today to actually be the same person.
Despite their similarity in appearance, few people had made the connection until a survey revealed that 100% of students had never seen the two men in a room together. Suspicions were confirmed when a cleaner saw the Martin/North hybrid changing shirts between different public appearances to give the illusion of being a different person.
A SUSUtv insider has said that the filmed live debate between the two candidates was actually shot using a greenscreen, confirming that only one of the two exists:
“We’ve actually known for a few weeks now, but we didn’t think it would make any difference. We experimented with androids, but we couldn’t get the personality right. As it is, I’m voting for Jon Martin. Or is it David North? I don’t really know.”
The imposter had even written the same manifesto twice but changed some of the buzzwords to throw off anybody tracking him. Suggestions that one of the candidates is actually just wearing the other’s face as a mask are as of yet unfounded.
On the left is an evil, elections-programmed clone. On the right is another.
May 17th is the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia. Find out how it affects you and the people around you, and what can be done to prevent such unacceptable behavior. Plus what it all has to do with a cold Friday evening in Porchester.