London was seized and conquered earlier today in an assault led by a rampaging horde of Romanian immigrants as predicted by the anti-immigration lobby following the recent lifting of work restrictions.
After four days of limited activity following the changes that came into effect on New Year’s Day, those who claimed that allowing Romanian and Bulgarian immigrants in would ruin our country were proved right when thousands of unemployed foreigners seized the capital and claimed it for their homeland.
Early coverage showing very few migrants arriving after the restrictions were lifted proved misleading, as the Romanians were actually just very good at hiding, and managed to spread across London unnoticed. Within days, they had assembled an army and waited for the perfect opportunity to strike.
“Liberals have been saying for years that it wouldn’t affect us if we relaxed immigration laws,” said anti-immigration advocate and London resident Dean Griffin. “And now look. Not only have they taken our jobs, but they’re also taking major world cities. I bet you all feel ridiculous.”
Reports from Manchester suggest that some major Northern cities have been hit hard by massed Bulgarian families. Initial feedback is that they looking for a better life and to feed on the blood and livelihoods of British nationals. The immigrants have been described as ruthless and remorseless, and as having a far better work ethic than their British counterparts.