Striking lecturers protesting on campus today were shocked to discover that even after changing their protest tactics, students still failed to give a damn.
Assembled lecturers and university staff could not comprehend how passing university students could walk by without paying any attention to their plight, despite a revolutionary new double-handed sign-holding technique that reduced the risk of sprains.
“It’s almost as if our decision to blast vuvuzelas outside the library and disrupt the concourse around deadlines made students dislike us before,” complained Physics lecturer Simon Harmon. “Really, it’s incredibly selfish to ignore us. When we chant and shout at you for breaking the picket line to visit the Union, it’s for a good cause.”
Despite the new approach taken by the protesters, in which they aim to strike at times most likely to cause disruption to the university, students remain as unsympathetic to their plight as they did in December.
It’s almost as if our decision to blast vuvuzelas outside the library and disrupt the concourse around deadlines made students dislike us before
“We’re just trying to get their attention,” said History professor Cathy Singh. “Everyone can appreciate the very real and important concerns affecting the staff: pay cuts over the last few years when the Vice-Chancellor gets an exorbitant increase, hiring of new high-level managers to bloat the salary bill, staff living below minimum wage. Those are undeniable issues. We thought disrupting student time, blowing horns outside the library and insulting people who don’t stand with us was the best way to raise awareness, but students just get pissed off. We’re stumped, we really are.”
The lecturers are optimistic, however, that their plans to set off fireworks and form a marching band to parade around Hartley library will be the strategy that finally gets people to sit up and take notice.