In light of decreasing audience and ratings for this year’s Masters tournament in Augusta, the organisers have pledged that next year’s competition will be substantially ‘crazier’ in an attempt to draw in the lucrative casual and mini golf market.

In a move already drawing criticism from many Augusta National Golf Club members, the committee behind the tournament have set in motion plans to construct new obstacles and challenges on all of the iconic holes.

Arkansas Crawford, who is designing the course, said:

“Augusta is a beautiful, historically significant course, but we have to modernise. Golfers will now tee off between two robotic gorillas on the first hole, and will have to putt through a dinosaur’s legs on hole four. All water features now have quaint bridges across them, and the greens are much more hill-based. On the final hole, competitors will have to putt along a narrow wall and into the centre of a giant pyramid to win. It’s all very exciting, there’s going to be fireworks and everything.”

Despite the growing opposition from professional golfers, the general public is welcoming the changes. “Have you ever watched golf?” said Atlanta resident Phil Letterman. “I haven’t. Everyone knows it’s boring. But seeing Tiger Woods lose his shit after his ball gets caught on a spinning replica windmill for the third time? That I could get behind.”

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  • V Confused Man
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    But this wasn’t posted on April 1st nor is it funny??

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    Yurp
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    Welcome to the generally confusing experience of reading a Sam Everard article. There are hundreds of them, each demonstrating the editor’s intent to turn this site into a poor man’s ‘The Onion’. Hopefully if enough people keep on pointing out that they are not funny in the slightest then Wessex Scene will go back to having useful/interesting articles.

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