2007: The Year in Music? :: Wessex Scene Online

2007: The Year in Music?

4th February 2007

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Mar 07 - Edge... of Knowledge, of Reason, of Release
Mar 07 - Argue with EDGE
Dec 07 - Peter Pan
Dec 07 - Have you Been to the Turner Sims?
Nov 07 - The Stolen Mix Tape Idea

Politics: Amy Winehouse took up a permanent slot alongside David Dimbleby on Question Time but quit after failed negotiations with the BBC over her ‘Ribena in a hip flask’ scandal.

Meanwhile associations with Tory mainstay James Blount looked set to ruin the Conservative’s chances at the next election, a crisis that was only averted by Labours decision to rename itself the Nation of Middle England (NME) weeks before its dramatic loss in the November polls.

Science and Nature: The Guillemots are finally released into the wild after 2 years of tireless campaigning by Madonna, Geldof and Bono; their release into the eastern Atlantic is deemed to be just out of audible range. However, the dumping nearby of faulty Razorlights is widely condemned by the environmental lobby as unnecessary cruelty.

Sport: The year ended on a tragic note when The Zutons were lost in a climbing expedition of the precarious north face of Ray La Montagne’s beard.

Obituaries: For every Borrell, Dido and Keane in this world, there is always a Sony, Warner or Jo Whiley around to ensure their survival. Mr Doherty, meanwhile, reminds us of more exciting, less nauseating times, when every drug fuelled bender could be your last.

One notable fatality was the new kid in the playground, ‘Nu rave’. With his incoherent beeps, Klaxons and intoxicatingly bright colours, he was quickly singled out by the bullies of the neighbourhood, those nasty Gallagher brothers. And despite putting up a hard-fi, our gallant new genre now rests in the sunshine underground.

Language: to Kook (verb) – becomes defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as the Naļve belief that people want to listen to you whilst wearing a scarf with a t-shirt.

By a peddler of bad puns