'I have no luck with the laydeez' Ask the Edge! :: Wessex Scene Online

'I have no luck with the laydeez' Ask the Edge!

24th November 2003
Rich Heap

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Jan 04 - Ask the Edge!
Nov 03 - Ask the Edge - your problems solved!
Nov 03 - When Beryl and the Edge collide
May 07 - EDGE Reads the News....
Mar 07 - Edge... of Knowledge, of Reason, of Release

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Jan 04 - Pillage People
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Nov 03 - Ask the Edge - your problems solved!
Oct 03 - Sight Seeing
Oct 03 - Candid Cameras

Dear The Edge, I am a 20-year old Fresher. I’m tall, handsome, funny, intelligent, fit and sensitive, but ever since I’ve got here I’ve had no luck with the laydeez...

...Where am I going wrong? What should I be doing?

Paul

The Edge says: Well, Paul, maybe you should try a bit of modesty. I mean, I’m really not an expert when it comes to matters of the opposite sex but, frankly, it sounds like you love yourself too much. If you manage to extract yourself from your own arse and stop acting like some sort of Jesus Christ figure then people will probably like you a lot more, including the ‘laydeez’. Oh, and don’t use the word ‘laydeez’

Dear The Edge, I bought a hat from H+M the other day. Unfortunately there weren’t any hats that I liked in the men’s section so I had to get it from the women’s section. I didn’t think this would be a problem but, somehow, everyone seems to know I’m wearing a girl’s hat. What should I do? Should I keep on wearing the hat? Or throw it in my wardrobe and forget ever having purchased it?

Ray

The Edge says: It’s only a hat, Ray. If you’re really concerned about people’s opinions of your headwear then you’re obviously, on some level, uncomfortable with your own sexuality. You’re worried that, somehow, wearing a girl’s hat is an affront to your masculinity, which is all rubbish. It sounds like you should just stop caring whatever anyone else thinks and just get on with it. Self-acceptance and self-love are the paths to true happiness. If all that sounds impossible then why not give it away as a birthday present. I know it sounds a bit cheap but if you don’t want it and someone else might then stick with it. Personally, I’d just wear it and stop caring what you think other people think of you because they probably don’t care about your hat anyway.Ps. The Edge lawyers would like to point out that H+M is not the only place to buy a hat in Southampton. Other hat vendors are available

Dear The Edge, I’m confused. Is it cool to like The Darkness? I mean, I like them and everything, but my cool indie friends just sneer at me. What can I do? Should I make Justin Hawkins and co. my dirty little secret?

Hannah

The Edge says: Who cares if other people say it’s either cool or uncool to like a particular band. If they don’t like it then they don’t have to listen to it, but they should at least respect your constitutionally protected right to listen to whichever bands you like. If I was you then I’d just get on with listening to The Darkness. If your friends can’t accept this then they’re probably not worth having as friends anyway

Dear The Edge, You seem quite bitter. Is the smarmy smile in your inset photo just a front to hide your existential despair and misanthropic tendencies? Do you have a lot of hate in your soul? Maybe you should try talking to someone.

Leon

The Edge says: Yes, I do have a lot of hate in my soul. I am really quite a hateful person. The smarmy smile is a defence mechanism so that everybody will think that I’m shallow and then nobody will want to talk to me. Then I can turn my anger and despair in on myself until I turn into a compact ball of hate and eventually implode, at last escaping this vile world. Oh, and I’ve tried talking to people... it’s just that no-one understands.