Pause is for articles that make you stop and wonder what on earth you’re reading. Hopefully you then come to the realisation that this is the section for satire, general nonsense, and otherwise informal articles which you may wish to take with a pinch (or ten) of salt.
Experts are ensuring all new medical forms ask, “Are you dumb?”
→The latest instalment of ‘The Quarantine Guide’ will leave you questioning whether you really were chefing it up after all.
→Get yourself down to a student kitchen, they have this new thing called slightly bearable meals.
→Ever wondered, ‘what if?’ when the washing machine fixer comes round? Because the answer is no.
→Our doctors are masters of answering your medical queries and google searching the best possible treatments that they will ultimately ignore in their advice.
→Southampton’s water supply has been found to be tough as old boots, and about as rough as a Thursday morning after an Ocies Wednesday.
→Ciaran Breen investigates the spooky goings on in Parliament, led by the ghoul known as Boris the Brexit Boy.
→‘No, seriously, you are funny. To me.’
→This message has been approved by Gordon Ramsey.
→Applications are open for those hoping to hold their events at the tournament, with a promise of quick divorce and official club merch.
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