Pause is for articles that make you stop and wonder what on earth you’re reading. Hopefully you then come to the realisation that this is the section for satire, general nonsense, and otherwise informal articles which you may wish to take with a pinch (or ten) of salt.
Thanks to the disruption caused by the coronavirus, new businesses have popped up across the country which have been nominated for a number of prestigious awards.
→Toilet roll: check. Hazmat suit: on. A trusty weapon to protect you after the apocalypse: on hand. Jasper Marshall delivers his guide to surviving Covid-19.
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In response to the news, one student said ‘I’m no fan of BuzzFeed but at least it’s not The Tab’.
→The guidance includes ‘Panic. This is the first step that anyone can take when considering how to act’.
→Citizens are urged to remember that SARS 2.0 really isn’t that bad, but to donate any extra handgel they may have to their local hospital all the same
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Things too bland in the bedroom? Follow Emily Dennis’ tips to whip up the perfect sex life, varying ingredient amounts for the number of guests coming for tea
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Efforts are being made to include Wii Sports games in the tournament.
→The new date for celebration is a hopeful step towards equality.
→Relationships don’t always work out. That’s why Marcus Matthews offers some less conventional ways to break up with your partner.
→As the UK population looks back fondly on the days of being able to buy pasta and toilet roll from Sainsbury’s, Emily Dennis gives some top advice for how to deal with Coronavirus
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