Top 10 Events of 2012


So much has happened in 2012 that it is hard to choose the best moments, but here is my Top 10:


nick cleggWhile it has so far taken Nick Clegg 2 years to dig his political grave, and he is seemingly not planning on stopping for another 2 years, he did lay the foundations for a sparkling musical career. He stormed to number 39 in the iTunes chart shortly after the remix of his party political broadcast was released. Well I won’t vote for you Nick, but I will buy your album.


Sticking with politics, I was relieved to see that Mitt Romney did not win a term in the White House.  Giving a trigger-happy man-child the codes to nuclear weapons did not seem like such a good idea.  But not to worry, the free world is safe from the war mongering republicans for at least another 4 years.


Although relatively unheard of, the story Alun Morgan squeezes in to my top 10 events of 2012.  The 81 year old Englishman moved to Wales during the war, he never learned the language and has not lived there since.  This year poor Alun suffered from a stroke.  There appears to be no serious damage, other than the fact that he woke up no longer able to speak English, but speaking fluent Welsh.  Pretty frustrating I imagine.


james arthurAt number 7 is the fact that someone good actually won the X Factor.  I am not the biggest fan of TV talent shows, they are mundane and extremely repetitive, but I understand that they are not going anywhere anytime soon.  So I appreciate the fact that we actually get someone with more than just a voice out of it.  He can write his own songs, and play an instrument.  Good choice.


The Olympics really did unite the country, and although I was sceptical before it began, I was well and truly converted by the end.  We saw Boris Johnson stranded dangling from a zip line, George Osborne soak up his well deserved boo’s at a Paralympics medal ceremony, and loads of sport as well.  It inspired thousands of budding photoshoppers to get creative and show Mo Farrah running away terrified from everything from Jimmy Saville to the the Go Compare man. mo

It distracted the media from the usual front page doom and gloom for a month, and encouraged a nation couch potato’s to stay in for a month and watch TV… sorry, I mean to get off their arses and do some sport.  And finally it showed the world that repressive communism is the way forward, because there is no way you can build a human pyramid like they did in Beijing with all these health and safety laws.  All in all, well worth the £9 billion (or £24 billion if you read the Daily Mail)……probably.


I am glad to see the Police and Crime commissioner elections have gone ahead.  It means I can start my criminal enterprise, get all my criminal friends to vote for me (which should be enough to get me elected considering the turnout) and direct all the police resources away from me and my friends.  Cheers guys.


The introduction of the Bristol Pound is worthy of a spot.  It is good to see a little bit of ingenuity in local government, and rather than sit there and moan about the economy (which to be fair is justified) someone has actually done something about it.  Plus the pictures on their new notes are much better than the boring old toffs we have on our notes (that’s including you, Lizzy).


Felix Baumgartner deserves a place in the top 10 for being the single craziest person in the world.  Most normal people are scared of bungee jumping, from about 200ft securely to a bungee.  Skydiving is pretty much out of the question for the majority of us, but if you have to wear a space suit and you can see the curvature of Earth, there is no question that you are definitely too high.  I would be worried that I would step out and instead of falling just float off into space.  Nutter.


Another YouTube sensation psyPSY takes second place for captivating the world with his soon to be classed as classic tune.  Countless celebrities have had the honour of doing it Gangnam Style with the greatest man out of South Korea since Park Ji-Sung.  He has racked up 1 billion views on YouTube and now holds the record for the most viewed post ever, an accolade which is indisputably deserved.


First place goes to the ridiculous assertion that the world would end this year.  Just a week ago the end of the world was upon us, and I am happy to say we have not been sucked into a black hole, hit by an apocalyptic meteorite, lasered by some alien life force or whatever the Mayans apparently said was going to happen.  I had a bet with a friend that if the world ended I would buy him a pint, and if it didn’t, he would buy me one.  He bought me the pint with no complaints, so I’m not sure he ever really realised the mistake he made.


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