BREAKING NEWS: SUSU to Abandon Elections for Sabbatical Candidates


News has broken from within SUSU this morning that for a number of reasons, including the lack of candidates and student apathy toward them, elections for the sabbatical positions will be abolished from next year.

David Mendoza-Wolfson, outgoing Union President, made the announcement this morning in The Bridge at 10am to a gathered crowd of the other current sabbatical officers, some disgruntled bar staff, and apathetic second year Politics student George Bones. The latter tweeted insightfully about the subject at the time:

Bones Bones Bones.

When pressed for comment, Mendoza-Wolfson confirmed the rumour with a prepared statement. “It is with a heavy heart and a great sadness that we, as a sabbatical team, have decided to make the decision to scrap the electoral system for selecting sabbatical officers. With only 16 candidates for seven positions, followed by a downturn in the number of voters by over 10%, we have to accept that here, democracy has failed. When only 25% of people are voting on something, you have to wonder whether those are likely to be the sane quarter. In this case, we decided that the majority were more likely to have retained their sanity.”

“The change to a month-long campaign period has bored both students and myself, and by the time elections night itself came around we were all fully saturated and could not take any more punishment. I still can’t remember who the new VP Student Communities is going to be. Or what Student Communities actually means. Or whether I should have put the bins out yesterday evening.”

“We will leave it to the incoming sabbatical team to decide what will replace the elections, with the single condition that they don’t hold a bloody referendum on it.”

Speculation as to what that team will decide upon has become rife since the announcement. An early idea of a meritocracy based on how much the candidates had previously done for SUSU was rejected out of hand as being out of kilter with SUSU’s core beliefs. The possibility of a dance-off is currently holding a lot of sway, but the early front-runner seems to be getting candidates to stand with SUSU the cat in the middle of them, with the cat’s favourites being made the new sabbatical officers.


Andy is a third year Performing Arts student who does some Psychology in his spare time. Well, that's what it feels like, anyway.

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