Long Distance Relationships at University


Many Freshers begin university with a long distance relationship that began in their home town. Relationships that start close but become distanced are, of course, brittle. Often the miles between can be fatal. Even though this isn’t always the case, they’ll always mean you have to work harder at the relationship.

Not only freshers suffer from distanced love. Students often get together with other older students who may graduate before they do and their boyfriend or girlfriend’s homes are far from university. Under any circumstance, any relationship that suffers from long distance is hard.

If you’ve been in a relationship before freshers begins and both of you are planning to go to different universities, the dilemma is all too real. Should you break up before you go or should you stay together and work at it?

There are relationship success stories and failures, so I will not advise you to do one or the other. Instead, there are factors to consider when deciding whether you’d like to continue. Can you see yourself with this person in three years time (or however long your course is)? What do you value in a relationship and how will university affect that? How far away is their university and how easy will it be for you to spontaneously see each other? Spontaneity is often a way of keeping a long distance relationship exciting.

Many who break with their other half during their first term are able to compare how life was during and after being in a relationship. This is an advantage as you will realise that your social life will inevitably be affected if you devote every other weekend to visiting your girlfriend or boyfriend. However, if you choose to see how it goes during the first term, you have to get through freshers week. A real danger lies here. What about freshers flings? Some will want to be single for freshers week and they’ll want to meet new people. The temptations of freshers can be very strong and often the drunken weeks of madness and horny students become the make or break point of a relationship.

Another thing to consider is the fact that, in moving to a new university and a new place, you will be leading a new lifestyle, making new friends and all together making a lot of changes. Your partner might not fit in with your changes and that’s okay. However, if you work hard, it can absolutely last. Relationships are much easier nowadays with social media. The likes of Facebook and Skype and of course phone calls make for suitable long distance communication. On the other hand, there’s only so much you can get out of a phone call.

At the end of the day you make the decision that is best for you and you decide how is best for you to communicate. All couples are different in how they interact and how often they see each other.

Remember, this decision is down to you. Think about only your future, even though you may have sympathy for your girlfriend or boyfriend. After all, it is you and your life that matters and it is your future that you are deciding upon. Do not let anyone else persuade you into doing something that you do not want to do. Nor should you let anyone make you stay in a relationship that is suffocating or is making you unhappy.


Wessex Scene Editor 2016-17 and Features Editor 2015-2016. History Student, Blog writer (http://emeraldalice.blogspot.co.uk/) and traveller. Student Brand Ambassador for the i Paper 2015-2016. Tea lover, cat enthusiast. @Alicetotheskies

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