Tinder has changed the face of 21st century dating, the days of blind dates, lonely hearts columns and speed dating are fading away and from its ashes, tinder has ignited (pardon the pun), here, you can meet potential dates from the comfort of your own mobile phone. It’s revolutionary- you simply filter your acquired sex and age range, and then simply swipe left or right, depending on if you fancy them or not. Essentially, Tinder has become the online shopping of the dating world.
However, this whole new method of meeting potential dates has its complexities; especially, it would seem, for the male contingent. The Tinder App requests users to select up to six photos to display on a profile, along with a few words about yourself in your bio. It is here when men, in particular, appear to struggle- as perhaps, taking a sultry selfie isn’t quite so socially acceptable as it is for women. To further add to the challenge, one can’t be seen to come across as too arrogantly, flashy or creepy, so constructing the “perfect” profile may appear to be an impossibility. Fear not, because here are ten essential things to avoid when giving your Tinder profile an overhaul…
- Never upload a picture of yourself holding a baby. It doesn’t matter if it’s your baby, a friend’s’ baby, a cousin, a nephew/niece, whatever. It may seem like a great idea to display your ‘warm sensitive side’ But trust me, it’s a turn off.
- Pictures of your ex partner/girlfriend/wife and, the mothership, wedding photos. It just leads to so much unnecessary confusion; ‘Are you married?!’ ‘Where’s your wife?’ ‘Does she know you’re here?!’ ‘WHAT IS YOUR DEAL?’ kind of questions.
- Posed topless pictures
- Posed topless pictures in the gym
- Posed topless pictures with ‘the lads’
- All six pictures are you with ‘the lads’- I’m not here to play,” Where’s Wally?” with you and ‘the squad’
- Pouty selfies.
- Pictures of your car, no we don’t want to date your BMW, Mark.
- A picture with a friend that’s hotter than you. It’s just a disappointment on all fronts.
- Ask for our Snapchat name after 0.4 seconds of small talk
- Mention your height. If you’ve got it, flaunt it, if not, pipe down.
- Pictures of you when you were a child. Nobody cares about what you looked like when you were four, and we certainly don’t want to date pre-pubescent you, thanks.
- Act bitter in your bio; ‘swipe left if you’re a spoilt princess and if you just want someone to drive you around and buy you things’ Urm, okay.
- Have poor grammar. You could be the hottest specimen to grace planet earth, but if you can’t string a coherent sentence together, then it’s a no!
- Make creepy-ass comments. ‘You have nice skin, I’d like to wear it as a onesie.’ BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK.
And the worst crime of all- when you’re breathtakingly beautiful/perfect/seemingly intelligent, and don’t make conversation with us when we match * sad face * You don’t even know what we could have been…