Person A likes to relax by themselves with a bit of alone time after a long hard day. Person B after a long hard day just wants to talk through their day, and maybe head out, have fun and get the stress off their chest. Person A and B live together. And so another battle in the long war between introverts and extroverts will commence. Of course, everyone knows that this issue could just be solved by compromise. Giving someone their space, or giving affection. Yet factors such as stress, friendship or romance can cause things can grow out of proportion.
It is the same with groups of people. Over the previous decades, people have fitted themselves into social groups. It can be anything from “Party animal over here” to “Nerd and proud”. Even if you haven’t stated it out loud, we have bracketed ourselves and our friends into some sort of circle – gamers, lads, artists etc. However, many of these groups may resent or judge another. People have a go at different tastes of music, lifestyle and beliefs. What we often do not realise is that within our own circles, we have different types of personalities, preferences and identities, yet we still group ourselves together like a pack of wolves. This is because many of us search for a sense of belonging and identity, and that’s fine – we are humans; we are a social species. The problem that arises is when group identity overtakes individual identities, and where individual personalities clash. It becomes easy to challenge the ‘rival’ group identities of others, even if they on an individual level are not that different from our own. It is here that resentment, judgemental attitude and conflict can arise.
So what’s the solution? Well, first, it’s figuring out what qualities make you… well, you. Do you like some alone time, or do you prefer hanging out with your friends? Are you more a sporty person or into reading? However, it’s also important to recognise faults – do you gossip too much or talk too little? Are you bad at time management or are stubborn? The key thing here is not to exaggerate our qualities, good and bad. We tend to exaggerate our good qualities and skim over our bad ones. We reflect these qualities on others, and the less we understand them or their choices. Opposite choices and preferences are not necessarily the wrong choices or preferences. How often do we use the phrase, ‘Why can’t you do A if I do it all the time?’ It’s simple; people are different – but not so different that they come from a different planet. Person A could be someone who has many friends while person B could seem to be shy most of the time. Yet what makes someone who considers themselves quiet and nerdy happy, could be exactly the same as someone who is very outgoing happy.
So maybe A and B are not that different; neither is someone who likes sports to that who likes books. I mean, we all love, cry and feel. We all love. We are all human. Maybe we should all just remember that more.