We may have turned 80, but we are still treating you with these throwbacks from the past 80 years. From 2011, take a look at the ‘six degrees of sex-aration’ and see below to find out how many people you have indirectly slept with!
Sleeping with Mila Kunis or Johnny Depp may seem like somewhat of a pipe dream, but a mathematical model could help you make the audacious claim that you’ve had carnal relations with some of the world’s hottest stars – indirectly, at least.
The theory is based on the ideas of six degrees of separation, the idea that everyone on the planet is connected to someone else through six simple steps; that everyone on Earth knows someone, who knows someone, who knows someone, who knows some-one, who knows someone, who knows you. According to scientists, it’s extremely hard to disprove.
Now consider sex in this situation. Everyone knows their magic number (we would like to think anyway), but do you know your previous partners’ magic number too? And the amount of people that their previous partners had slept with before them? And of those people, the amount of people that they too may have slept with? Overall, the amount of people you have risked catching a sexually transmitted infection from is significantly higher than you would expect. For instance, the average Brit has indirectly slept with more than two million people. That’s a lot of people, but remember: Depp or Fox may be one of them, so that should soften the blow slightly.
Of those people, do you wonder who you may have indirectly have slept with? There are around 25,000 students at Southampton University, so we set about tracking this theory and went out and asked students all about it.
We took two random students who have never met, have no Facebook friends in common (because that is the way you measure these things today) and have never heard of each other, and traced their six degrees of separation through previous sexual partners. It took a lot of research, gossip and several attempts, but here we go…
We should also like to mention that all names have been changed. Elle is a second-year languages student and has had four previous sexual partners: a long-term boyfriend, a friend with benefits and two one night stands. She told us that she knew her ex -boyfriend had 12 different sexual partners; including one girl who ‘I know has slept with over 20 people’.
Her educated guess at the combined number of people all previous partners had was 55. She was unsure how many people those people had slept with, but we decided not to calculate anyway because she was already feeling a bit faint at 55.
Oscar and Elle were ‘friends with benefits’ for a couple of months earlier this year. Second-year Oceanography student Oscar told us he had had two previous girlfriends, and, other than these and Elle, had not slept with anyone else. We thought that he was lying. Especially because his housemate then told us he had drunkenly had sex with her last month. She guesses his amount of previous sexual partners is around 40+. Both of them said they had no idea at the amount of people the people he had slept with had slept with.
His housemate, Kerry, told us that sleeping with Oscar was a ‘drunken mistake’ and that she had only ever slept with two people, him and her ex boyfriend. She said that she has always used protection, but that she doesn’t think Oscar has always been that careful through things that he was mentioned before. Kerry is a first-year English student who started a relationship with a fellow course mate earlier this year after ‘feeling a bit lost not being in Halls and living with third years’. She lost her virginity to him but they were only together for three months because she found out he was cheating on her.
Her ex-boyfriend Luke (the cheater, “booo, hiss’) was sleeping with his flatmate Alicia throughout their short relationship. The first-year Humanities students both said that they were virgins when they started at Southampton this year. Luke said that he had slept with two girls before Kerry and Alicia, but he was unsure how many people they’d slept with.
Alicia said that she had had sex with a fourth year Medicine student, Mo, in Freshers’ Week and that she had not had sex with anyone else. Alicia and Mo are still friends now. He told us that he had slept with ‘eight different girls, but six of them were relationships’. He added, ‘I am unsure who they had previously had sex with, but I think they were all relatively low numbers, except one’. Mo tells us that he found out one of his ex girlfriends, Felicity, had slept with over 20 people in a game of ‘Never Have I Ever’. He got himself checked out pretty soon after. We didn’t tell him that we had found out that she had also slept with Oscar…
We wanted to arrange for Elle and Felicity to meet. Felicity is a fourth-year Medicine student and had never heard of Elle. But we realised that would he very awkward, and apparently quite inappropriate. Instead, we told Elle the story about how she has indirectly slept with Felicity and how does she feel?
Elle didn’t really say much that was quotable, and just screamed, gasped and flapped her arms around a lot whilst slowly turning an interesting shade of a colour that simultaneously seemed both red and blue. She did say, however, that ‘people better read your article! And better get themselves checked out because of me!’
So, readers, this is where we insert the typical safe sex line.
If you have always been careful that is great, but unfortunately not everyone else you have slept with may have been, and as well as indirectly sleeping with Johnny Depp, you may have also indirectly slept with someone a little more untoward, with something even more untoward going on down there.
So be sure to check out your nearest Sexual Health Clinic, and in the meantime, we leave you with this: next time you’re day-dreaming in Hartley library about that guy or girl sitting opposite you, bear in mind that you may have already slept with them – sort of. And also, we do not recommend playing ‘Never Have I Ever’ with your Ex.