Debunking the Myth: Doing Things Alone

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For a very long time, there has been a perpetual stigmatisation of doing things by yourself and being alone by choice. For some people, they have no choice other than to do things by themselves, but many people who do choose to go solo do so consciously by choice. By why is there such a negative association with doing things alone?

As far as extroverts go, I rank quite high on the scale. I crave and enjoy the presence of others, and I get a bit of jaw ache when I haven’t said anything in a couple of hours. Importantly, this love of socialisation is not a result of a need for validation of my own actions but actually just because I really enjoy sharing my life with people I love and getting to know new people.

However, in the last few years I have really learned to appreciate my own company, and this was perhaps one of the best character developments I’ve experienced so far in my 19 years. I am all for going shopping with a pal, but when I tire of others or nobody’s around I will definitely just go by myself. How can you expect people to enjoy your company if you don’t even enjoy your own company?

When I told a friend that I was going to Amsterdam alone last week, she looked at me as if to say I was making a grave error. As if to say that doing things by yourself is not acceptable, and you must always have someone else there to appreciate external pleasures. Which actually makes no sense; if you are going to see something or do something in particular, is the presence of anyone other than yourself actually important? I had the best time ever and although it’s nice to share tasty food and great views with somebody else it really didn’t matter very much to me in that moment because I still got to see the sights and enjoy the city; what’s more I did it all for myself and went where I wanted to, when I wanted to! Indisputably, it is so important to learn how to find your own feet and learn what you like without having input from a third party and doing things independently is the best way to do it.

Then there is the horrible stigma associated with being single. The older you get, the more people pry on your love life, and the drearier it gets. In my own opinion, I think you should learn how to love yourself before you share that with anybody else. And even when you get there, there shouldn’t be an expectation that you have to share it with anybody but yourself.

So go and fall in love with places and things, go and see a film or eat at a restaurant or go to another country- and remove the expectation that someone else needs to accompany you. Figure out what you like and what you’re good at and then when you’re happy with that and you feel like it, invite someone else to the party. No pressure.

More articles in Debunking the Myth
  1. Debunking The Myth – Having A Big Family
  2. Debunking the Myth: Doing Things Alone
  3. Debunking the Myth: Studying Politics
  4. Debunking the Myth: Studying Joint Honours
  5. Debunking the Myth: Diabetes
  6. Debunking the Myth: Christians
  7. Debunking the Myth: Friendships After University
  8. Debunking the Myth: Studying English Literature
  9. Debunking the Myth: Studying a Languages Degree
  10. Debunking The Myth: History
  11. Debunking the Myth: Studying an Engineering Degree
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Sub-editor 2017/18. Third year Biology with Linguistics student. Interested particularly in molecular biology, genetics and brain disease and disorders. Very disposed towards writing about things that haven’t quite been explained yet.

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