The Politics of the Group Chat

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Move in day at university is the start of the rest of your life, or that’s what you would think. True, academically you have progressed, and socially you’re surrounded by new people, but your cyber footprint hits a whole new level.

In the first few hours, you and your fellow flat mates create the inaugural ‘Flat Chat’. Then, if you actually make it to your first lecture, you are added to the ‘Course Chat’ (if you’re a Geography Student like me, this is often given a suitable name, so for me ‘Colouring In’).

To be blunt, any excuse to make a group chat is utilised…

Member Personalities… 

The Enthusiastic Member will be up for anything, anywhere. Unfortunately you don’t really want to be stuck with him.
Credit: red jobs.wordpress

Now, everyone is familiar with the different characters in the chat. You have the ‘Overly Enthusiastic Member’ who replies at lightning speed, the ‘Shady Members’ who contribute nothing and only read the home screen notification, and then you have the worst type, those who have the sheer audacity to read the message with no intention of replying. When you require a quick reply it is often not receive for hours, even though the ‘enthusiastic’ one would normally provide one. But, chuck in a ‘meme’ or two, and it’s like your mother calling you for dinner, everyone’s at the table in an instant.

Group Arrangements… 

Furthermore, the concept of arranging anything becomes an impossibility. All members are clueless as to what is actually going on; However, you can always rely on the ‘Enthusiastic Member’ attending – their opinion is always voiced and never miss a social occasion. The ‘Shady member’ often gets termed the ‘Bailer’ due to their suspicious anonymity despite promising attendance. This disorganized nature of the group chat often leads to one sitting alone awkwardly, waiting for the late comers to present themselves.

Drunks…

The Annoying Drunk will regret everything he sends in the morning. Often misspells the simplest of words.
Credit: Pixabay

Other members of the group chat include the ‘Annoying Drunk’. This individual is frequently sending incomprehensible messages at unsociable hours, causing sleep loss to their associates. They are also the member who inform the group of any Tinder match, despite no one caring.

Photos…

The shared photo section also becomes a database to which everyone reminisces whilst having a cold one at the pub. It often holds photos which if exposed to non-group chat members, would almost certainly be looked at with a raised eyebrow and end friendships.

Grammar…

Furthermore, grammatical mistakes are often heavily disputed. Every member suddenly obtains a PhD when explaining how foolish it was to send message without proof reading first. This becomes more prevalent when telling a joke to the group, as a misplaced character shifts the laugh against you. This often ends any conversation, leaving the individual who sent the message cringing as they feel they let the group down.

New Members…

And finally, you have the interrogation. Occasionally, a new member faces the rigorous election and initiation process required to be added to the group chat. All members are brought together for an in depth discussion, weighing up the pros and cons of an additional member. This is the only time you can rely upon every member of the chat having an input, as it is a ‘make or break decision’.

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