“Looking back, I feel lucky that I didn’t contract hepatitis making tea” (p.14)
As the beginning of term rolls around at Southampton, the IKEA marketplace stacks up ‘University Starter Kits’: pots, pans, utensils, and maybe some cutlery inside a large Tupperware box. This prepares us for communal living in halls. Yet we are not truly prepared, and IKEA has missed a trick by not including David Ruby’s hilarious takes on communal living and flat sharing in their university essentials. Ruby’s epistemological study (his book) draws frequently from professionals and experts, showing not only that he has used anecdotal evidence but also that he has examined the psychological aspects of living with others.
Although I feel somewhat ‘called out’ not actually understanding my own tenancy agreements despite having watched ‘Friends’ multiple times as described in the book (p. 52). It highlights what is wrong with the legal structures of flat sharing and renting through metaphors and easy-to-understand content. So, freshers, listen up!
As you go into new stages of your life this book is essential to simply existing in a world that rents and cannot afford to buy houses. “Living with others” would’ve given me a sense of sanity and comfort in my first year, knowing what to expect of university room sharing, and as I graduate next year, subsequently professional room sharing.
The anthropology of how we live and exist as communities is explored through practical tasks one has to complete when at university and the wider world. Such as how to pick your second-year flatmates, a very important subject that Ruby covers through more generalised examples. As an author, he takes on the role of a wise friend who knowledgeably guides you toward your best interests. I must say I now know the difference between subleasing and subletting, which I will let the book explain much better than I could (p.136).
I feel both listened too and understood, yet learning new unspoken rules that may still be too awkward for my flatmates to bring up. In all honesty, I am the culprit in some circumstances when Ruby may coin me as an “idiot” as he does this book, I have been indirectly constructively critiqued by him. Even after living away from home for two years, I know I have a lot to learn, some of which has come from this “Living with Others” A Survival Guide.
The Wessex Scene is a student-run publication, and I must say some of the advice given in this book is not applicable to UK student flatmates, but this is disclosed at the beginning, whereby the book is written to be picked up at the necessary and applicable parts to a person. After all, Ruby has amalgamated the universal experience of living with others, thus making it applicable to a very wide audience.
I find myself highly engaged in the parts of the book that apply to me. The other bits sort of fade into obscurity for me, but this isn’t a bad thing. I feel that as I go through the different stages of life, I could reflect on this book and revisit it and feel differently about the currently less engaging parts. The book changes each time you read it, depending on what stage of your life or room share you are in.
Lastly, as a young woman and student, I feel reassured by “Living with Others” as a book. It’s not our fault; we aren’t spending too much on oat milk lattes! Getting a mortgage or financing a house is something even now I am thinking of, despite still feeling like a young person, barely an adult.
“Even Jesus Christ had haters” (p. 140) makes me feel comforted as a 20-year-old who wants to please everyone. You just can’t be friends with everyone, especially when sharing with strangers in first year. Having the next year certain of your living situation is not always realistic, and David Ruby explores these themes carefully and in detail.
Overall, David Ruby sums up a universal experience of living with others perfectly in a carefully curated study of how we live and how we can reach our potential whilst living with others.
If you would like to purchase David Ruby’s book to form your own opinion, I have attached the purchasing link below:
