I remember the millions of uncertainties turning over in my head on the lead up to starting university. How will I make friends? What will my degree be like? And how will I find people to get a second-year house with that quickly? I know my fresher-self would have loved to read an article of realistic advice about what was ahead of her.
Whilst I can’t go back and reach her, I can still reach you. So, as I step into my final year as a BA Film and English student, here is advice that I wish I had been told when I started at the University of Southampton.
- This university is the best thing that almost never happened to me
That’s right; funnily enough, I had never even visited this university, let alone applied for it. I ended up here through clearing, as perhaps you did too. All my plans had crumbled, and I had to shift my expectations completely as I stared into the dark. And yet, I cannot believe that there was almost a world in which I didn’t meet the people that I have met and had the experiences that I’ve had here. So, the first thing I would tell my fresher-self, and you now, is that this university is the best thing that almost never happened to me. Whether this was your first choice, or a heartbeat decision on results day, trust me when I say that you have so much to look forward to.
- Don’t be afraid of your kitchen
It’s true that the first people you meet at uni are usually in the hallway of your accommodation, or in your kitchen. It can be intimidating to cook and eat in front of strangers, but the more time that you spend in there, the more conversations you will strike and the closer you will become to your flatmates. Especially during fresher’s week, when these are almost certainly the people that you will be going out with. The girl who I bumped into as I was moving in and hung out with in the kitchen that same night ended up being one of my best friends and among who I lived with in second year (we’ll get to that). Pro tip: bring a doorstop with you! An open door signals that you want to socialise.
Also, I’ll add that everyone’s first night is different; whilst my friends have told me stories of their wild first night at uni, mine consisted of sitting in the kitchen with my flatmates playing computer games, before going to a party in the flat next door’s kitchen for five minutes, unpacking, and then going to sleep. Whilst I ended up going out multiple times later that week, I love that memory, even if it wasn’t what I had expected. Don’t let your first night mislead you, as your fresher’s experience will unfold in the way that you shape it. Moral of the story: don’t be afraid of your kitchen.
- Don’t miss Bunfight!
One of the biggest mistakes I made during fresher’s week is not going to Bunfight. The name confused me too; this is basically a fair where all societies advertise themselves and display what they’re all about. There is also free pizza involved. I can’t pinpoint an exact reason I didn’t go, but the overarching one was that I didn’t really see myself as a society person, or more so that I didn’t know what a society really was. I imagined the rituals and sororities from American college movies. If I had gone to Bunfight, I may have discovered Theatre Group a lot sooner, a society that I only joined halfway through first year. I would implore any fresher to not miss Bunfight, as the societies that I am apart of now – SASS (Aerial Sports), Wessex Scene, and especially Theatre Group – are where I have thrived. There is a society for everything (seriously), and you will find a place for yourself, even if you don’t think so. And no, they aren’t cults (usually). Look at your emails, and don’t miss Bunfight!
- Go to socials
One of the best parts about joining a society are the socials. A highlight reel of the ones I’ve been to would include a lot of pub crawling, clubbing, and laughing, all the while dressing up as the Queen of Hearts, Waterloo tube station, and Magic Mike. But the social that stands out for me is the one that started it all; on a whim, I went to a ‘Back to School’ themed humanities social in the February of my first year. I wore a white button-up shirt over my outfit (as on theme as I could go) and walked into The Hobbit alone.
I’m so glad that I did. This night of school ties and mystical drinks is where I met my best friends, all because I had plucked up enough courage to put myself out there. That was the first social I ever went to, and from then my new friends introduced me to Theatre Group, and the rest is history. So, take it from me, going to socials is the best way to meet new people (especially with similar interests) and have fun. Most societies will also do sober socials if clubbing isn’t really your thing; there is truly something for everyone. Even if you must go to the first one alone, know that there will be people who are waiting to meet you. Put yourself out there and go to socials!
- Don’t fear Jesters
You will hear terrible things. Most of them will be true (allegedly). But this is the biggest ‘hear me out’ you will encounter in this article. The Jesters lore runs deep in Southampton, and what I heard about it as a fresher put me off for months. And yet, the best nights out I’ve had in Southampton have been at this very club. It’s a unique experience to say the least, but the drinks are cheap, the crowd is great, and events like ‘WTF IS INDIE’ are always happening, leaving you dancing until close (2am). So, whether it is where a social is headed or where your new friends are planning on going, don’t be put off by the gross rumours, because you will have a ball. Don’t fear Jesters.
Regardless, on all your nights out, stay safe and with good company!
- Use Hartley Library
Explore the floors of Hartley Library. Somehow, I didn’t come here to work until my second semester, mainly because I never realised how vast it was. There are 5 floors which get quieter the higher you go, equipped with study spaces of all shapes and sizes. Surrounded by everyone working hard is incredible motivation (even better with your friends), and I wish I had thought to use it from the beginning. To top it all off, its open 24 hours during term time, so get ready for some intense but bonding all-nighters. Bonus points if you do star jumps outside of the library at 3am. That’s all: use Hartley Library.
- First year is about learning the academic ropes
Speaking of working, I’ll say this about assignments. I remember the first time my class were referred to as scholars, as the realisation dawned on me that I was jumping from memorising A-level flashcards to thinking up original takes on academic material. But remember, your first assignments are just practice, and almost never count towards your actual degree. First year is all about learning the ropes, dipping your toe into finding your own academic voice. This process takes time, and you will only improve. Take breaks and enjoy working on your first assignments without the pressure of them shaping your final grade, because it’s all about practice.
- It takes time
Everyone starts uni with a colourful picture in their heads of what it will be like for them, impatient for it to become their reality. And whilst some hopes and expectations may be fulfilled immediately, others will evolve over time or surprise you when you least expect it.
You will always remember your months as a fresher, but wherever you find yourself, you don’t need to remain there. The opportunities are endless, and ‘fresher’s friends’ will filter off if it’s meant to be, leaving room for you to find your people. You may take a little time to find your groove, but when you do, you’ll have the time of your life. Don’t panic if you feel that things aren’t falling into place just yet; enjoy every part of your story. It takes time.
- The House Thing
What you’ve been waiting for. The House Thing. At the top of my list of worries as a fresher was how on earth am I going to find people I like to sign a house contract with in only a couple of months? Alongside the stress of every other aspect of uni life that you’ve been launched into, panicking about forcing friendships to find people to live with is not what you want. My advice: don’t let this concern define how you go about your first few months. I signed my contract quite ‘late’ (beginning of December) and ended up living with a few of my flatmates from halls. I really enjoyed my second-year house, and it came together naturally, as we all got along and needed a place to live.
It’s inevitable that you will stress about it, but my final notes on The House Thing are this; don’t procrastinate, but don’t panic either. Don’t be shy to ask around; the more you talk to flatmates, course mates, and people you meet through societies, the bigger your pool of housemate potentials will naturally be. Everyone finds somewhere in the end, and so will you.
- Never too late
You’ve probably grasped from my story that it took a few months for me to find my place here. One of the biggest reasons for that was because I thought I had missed my opportunity to join a society from the start, and as the months ticked by, I thought it was too late.
However, after reflecting over the Christmas break, I was determined for my second semester to be different. So, one day at the end of February, I decided to audition for Theatre Group’s Edinburgh Fringe show ‘Bouncers and Shakers’. Long story short, I got in. Thus began one of the best experiences of my life to date. This also welcomed me into the society, where I have made countless friends and been involved in shows in all sorts of ways since (yet another TG plug here).
Whilst I have acted all my life, and thus TG was an obvious fit for me, I’ve also ventured beyond what I knew, joining the Aerial Sports society (SASS) after my close friend had told me about it – a sport that I had never even attempted before. In the second semester of second year, I found myself hanging upside down on a dangling hoop by my legs, and I had never felt more confident in the idea that uni is all about trying new things. I am now even on the SASS committee as Events Secretary.
If you are to take anything from this article, let it be this; it’s never too late. Give yourself some grace as you begin your story, and never think that you have missed the boat, because I can assure you, you won’t have.
Some of your best memories are waiting to be made. Look forward to it.
Good luck!
