Nervous? Science Shows It Impacts Dating Success


Having just come to university you might be feeling a bit insecure. Will people like you? What happens if you don’t like your course? Even if you do feel not only is it perfectly normal, a study has shown how some insecure and nervous characteristics can come across as attractive when meeting new potential romantic partners, proving you won’t have to worry about missing out on any romantic action in freshers.

Coming to university can be a scary time trying to fit in, navigate round not just a new building but a new city. All of these factors can make people a little bit nervous and insecure. A study published in the Journal of the International Association for Relationship Research explained that whilst being insecure can have its drawbacks romance is not off the menu.

Given the choice of an open and supportive person or a clingy and insecure date the studies show people will go for the former. Expectations are the open and supportive person will care and look after them and the relationship is likely to last longer. Open and supportive people are generally confident, conversationalists and not afraid to use eye and body contact.

Whereas insecure people were found to be either very talkative or very quiet, clingy and rarely used eye or body contact. The question the scientists wanted to answer was how do nervous individuals still attract romantic partners?

A series of tests demonstrated that some of the qualities an insecure person has can be misconstrued, for example scientists found a very talkative nervous individuals attracted romantic partners because this talkativeness came across as openness and caring; qualities humans look for in a meaningful relationship.  Whilst quieter individuals were sometimes viewed as mysterious and intriguing which is attractive to some individuals.

The study concluded that all individuals are capable of getting into a romantic relationship, but insecure people are less likely to maintain long term relationships after the initial honeymoon period has worn off, as often the characteristics which were initially deemed to be caring and attentive, can deemed too clingy, and the initial mystic of a withdrawn individual can wear off leading the romantic partner to feel neglected.              

However don’t fear the scientists top tips for getting into a relationship are be yourself – initial insecurities about a new place will wear off, try to be humorous and happy. Use eye and mild body contact as other humans register this as interest and can find it reassuring. Meanwhile if you are feeling worried or insecure talk to someone – family, friends or someone anonymous  – the universities Nightline service is available at 02380 595236


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