Good Girlfriend Mythology

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Okay, before we even begin, I have a long-term boyfriend who I love very much so I am not declaring all men indecent and unreasonable nutcases.  However, out of curiosity I had a vague peruse of ‘steps to being a good girlfriend’ vlogs/blogs/tutorials and so on. Most of them were perfectly acceptable, and dare I say stupidly obvious? ‘Be nice’, ‘don’t get jealous’, et cetera.

HOWEVER.

There were a few rare ones that irked me just a bit.  Naturally, these so-called genuine tips don’t signpost every man’s taste (I’d hope far from it) but I still thought that I would share these titbits of questionable wisdom.

Never make fun of him even if you’re only joking – it’ll make him feel self-conscious and close up.

So what? Man up, figuratively.  Men don’t have to be hard-ass all the time; girls don’t expect that. However, I’m not going to dance around anyone’s ego just so they can feel more starry-eyed about themselves, particularly if my teasing is done in jest. I tease my boyfriend mercilessly all the time: about his American football tendencies, an unmentionable incident on our first Valentine’s date involving a waiter, and his ever-entertaining and unfailingly unique verbal gaffes. He makes fun of me in turn too, I affectionately add; a good laugh is the heartbeat of a relationship.  Rule of thumb: if you can’t take it, don’t dish it out.

Ask his approval for giving your number to another guy.

No way in wonderland, sweetheart! As university students, we all exchange numbers, male and female, all the time for everything: new friends, student deals, you name it.  I have, not including my boyfriend, around 80 other (male) numbers on my mobile. I love my boyfriend, but as far as something every-day as my mobile goes, asking his permission has never once crossed my mind, nor will it ever. For one he trusts me, and two I am not his personal property or an idiot. Neither is any other woman out there.

Girls should always make an effort to look good when with their guy; we like being proud of our girls.

Ahem.  Okay, stop it right there, whoever posted that.  I agree that when going out on a date or something similar, dressing up should be intrinsic.  I’m not talking a floor-length ball-gown, but maybe a nice outfit and a pop of eye-shadow.  Not your favourite comfy slacks you wear around on a weekend at home.  It’s nice to look pretty going out with your man, and why not?

The part of this ‘top tip’ that bothers me is the “always” bit.  So according to this, once you’ve been together a while, you still expect us to get out of bed, step into the bathroom and out in 20 seconds in full glamour and makeup? I don’t think so.  I wander around in my well-worn and loved pyjamas and holey slippers on weekends when we’re not doing anything, makeup-less and sporting birds-nest hair. My guy hasn’t got a problem with it, nor can he judge in his particularly attractive Simpsons doughnut pyjama bottoms. There’s nothing wrong with kicking back and forgetting appearance, and just cherishing each other’s company. Nothing wrong at all, and I don’t think it’s done enough anymore.

Speaking of which, I think it’s high time I called TGI’s and booked us a table for next weekend. No hypocrisy mind you; back in my room I have Beck’s beer, popcorn and Batman Begins to look forward to sharing with him after gorging, but only after I’ve taken my heels and makeup off.

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Discussion2 Comments

  1. avatar

    Great job 🙂 It would be interesting to also compare vlogs/blogs/tutorials on ‘Steps to being a good boyfriend’. I am pretty confident that they exist somewhere in our internet universe.

    Victoria Berryman
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    I’ll see if I can wrangle some answers out of my bf then to answer that one.

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