Ah, the bicycle- serving as man’s best two-wheeled friend since the beginning of the 1800s. A quick and efficient means of getting around Southampton at night, and here I am with my bright new and blue shiny bike.
I’ve got it all going for me, from the backpack laden with equally spread out beer, to my helmet acting both as a tool of safety and a protector from the British elements. I’m ‘raising the roof’ because this is possibly the best idea I’ve ever had.
In hindsight, this was probably up there with one of the worst ideas I’ve ever had.
Dresses are not made to be worn whilst cycling. I had previously entertained the idea that I would be the image of boho chic as I cruised up to the house party with my garments all afloat and my hair billowing out like rippling waves on a shore. Unfortunately, my dress was not as chiffon-like as I’d thought, and my hair is not very long. So what I really ended up with was a combination of a very highly hitched dress and a most attractive curtain fringe. And of course all oncoming traffic caught a glimpse of my RESPECTABLE red knickers. This was not brand new information to anyone on the road that night and I feel like a certain van driver beeping me along Portswood Road was perhaps a little unnecessary.
Problemo numero two: I am not a skilled cyclist. I get very out of breath and lightheaded going up hills. You know the ‘incline’ heading up to the big Sainsbury’s from Portswood Road? Yep, not for me. Cue swift 007 roll and curb mount and pushing my bike the rest of the way.
I did make it to the party safely in the end. Bar investing in a pair of ‘cycling pants’ to wear under your dress, my advice would be: call a taxi kids. What’s a fiver here and there after all if it means you’ll be staying safe?