How To Maintain Your Title of ‘The Unhealthy Housemate’

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Do you ever feel outnumbered by healthy people in your student house? Do they wake up early so they can go to the gym before their lectures? When you suggest doing Dominoes ‘Two for Tuesdays’ do they refuse, mumbling something about salad? Your title of ‘The Unhealthy Housemate’ is something to be valued and it’s important that you maintain it! Here are five quick and easy steps that you should follow carefully and religiously that I personally use on a daily basis:

1. Eat an unhealthy snack in the middle of the day.
This could be a nice plate of cheesy chips, a few packets of crisps or even a cheeky pizza. To really emphasise how unhealthy you are, make sure your housemates are grouped in the kitchen at the time discussing which healthy fat burning gym class they are going to later as you stuff your face.

2. Throw in a surprise healthy snack once every few weeks, this will do wonders for your self confidence.
When you tell your housemates that you ate a piece of fruit or drank a glass of water, seeing the shock and pride in their faces is the best way to start the day. You’ll think you can do anything.

3. Stick to the same unhealthy meals. Maybe make a rota so you don’t have burgers two nights in a row.
When your fellow housemates see you cooking you will hear such things as ‘Sarah, I haven’t seen you cook anything without chips’. This is the perfect response that you should strive to achieve.

Credit: Unsplash / @AlexaGorn

4. Takeaways are, of course, a necessity to any unhealthy person but, as students, money does not always allow us this luxury. The way I get around this issue is to get drunk, making it much easier to justify my decisions – flawless logic. Drunk Sarah has no awareness of how much money is in her account and she blames the calories on ‘helping the hangover in the morning’. Best way to dodge any form of judgement the following day.

5. Cheese.
Fat wrapped up in a delicious yellow substance that can enhance every meal. Yes you heard me correctly, every meal. Spag bol? Cheese. Pizza? Add more cheese. Salad? Cheese is the only thing that tastes good in a salad.

So follow these steps and you can be like me, living in a house with six other girls and being the only unhealthy resident. It is a large responsibility to uphold but I like to think that I manage. Happy ‘unhealthying’!

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