Nine Practical Uses for Your Degree

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It’s March already, and for a lot of students that means that their undergraduate degree is coming to an end. But what to do with that degree once you’ve earned it? Everybody knows a degree counts for virtually nothing in this economic climate, so here are nine uses for that incredibly expensive bit of paper:

  1. A classy napkin.
  2. Somewhere to write a screenplay on the back of. You know, that one you had planned about zombies at a ski resort. Gotta put that Film and English degree to some use.
  3. Toilet paper. You can pretend it’s a metaphor for your job prospects if you like.
  4. Credentials to show strangers before you psychoanalyse them in Starbucks for spare change.
  5. A makeshift paper aeroplane to throw in every passing office window.
  6. A template for ransom notes. Kidnapping is a noble profession with flexible job hours.
  7. Kitchen roll. Studies show there is no difference in absorption between a 2:2 and a 2:1.
  8. Combine with a hundred or so other graduates and use your degrees to create a papier-mâché fort of broken dreams.
  9. Use the other side of the page to forge an MA in Delaying Reality.
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Editor and MA English student. Follow on Twitter @SamEverard1

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