The Polifix: 24th – 30th September


After a summer hiatus that was more disorganised than a G4S Security Operation – and longer than a Greg Rutherford jump – the polifix is back; and this week, we have US elections, a potential world war three and Burmese irony in your weekly political round-up.

Ahmadinejad > Obama?

He takes national defence seriously, and he’d never let some gay protesters tell him how to run his country like Obama does

Unnamed West Virginian Resident On Ahmadinejad

According to a poll, rural white American would rather vote for the Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, than Barack Obama. The report, published by Fars – an Iranian news agency, stated that 77% of US citizens would rather have a drink with Ahmadinejad than Barack. That’s right; a man who denies the Holocaust and claims 9/11 was a inside job is more popular than the PONTUS himself. One West Virginia resident said “I like him better”. The report, which was originally published by The Onion, a US satirical news website. Oh wait…

Iran & Israel Trade Blows

So while Mahmoud Ahmadinejad may not more popular than Obama, he is indeed back in the news. Last week, everyone’s ‘favourite’ Iranian spoke to the U.N. General Assembly in New York, where he stated that the US was a “bully”, which he followed by naming Israel as a “fake regime” and called for a New World Order.

International Diplomacy in action

A top Iranian military commander, Amir Ali Hajizadeh, joined the party claiming that the nation would be prepared for any Israeli attack and any invasion of Iranian sovereignty could trigger “World War Three”. Encouraging discourse then. At least we had Israel to make the diplomacy more rational. Indeed, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu responded by asking the US to set “red lines” which, if crossed, would lead to action against the Arab state to stop the country from obtaining nuclear weapons. In fact, Netanyahu even whipped out a nice homemade diagram of a bomb which he then helpfully drew a red line on. So maybe slightly more rational, but at a level for play-school toddlers.

= Obama & Romney Trade Blows

Obama then even got in the act of Iran-bashing, after Romney called his foreign policy “too merciful”, by stating that the the violence in the Middle East was “an attack on UN ideals” as well as reaffirming his commitment to stopping Iran from developing nuclear weapons. To be fair though, a “merciful” President sounds better than the GOP candidate whose foreign policy includes criticising the USA’s own allies as well as using cultural racism as a way to explain the economic difference between Palestine and Israel. Sort of missing out a whole chunk of facts there Mitt; namely, the $3 billion that the US pumps into the second of those every year.

President Aung San Suu Kyi?

Thein Sein, the Burmese President and former staunch defender of the country’s military junta, has told the BBC that if people voted for Suu Kyi, then the military would have to accept her; that is how elections normally work after all. The country, which is currently going through radical reforms – including the release of some political prisoners and legalization of trade unions – is hoping to hold elections in the next few years as it makes the path towards democracy. Oh, what’s that? The junta held an election in 1990, where Suu Kyi’s National League for Democracy party won 59% of the votes; only for the results then to be voided and the military retained their power. I think we’ll wait and see on that one then Thein.

 You Pleb!

Tory Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell spoke last week for the first time on camera after he was accused of rowing with police guards; an incident humorously named Gategate. Mitchell, who was accused of abusing the police officers when they stopped him riding through the gates at Downing Street, fundamentally denied that he used the classist word plebs.  The police report, however, states something different recording that the Whip uttering the words “f***ing plebs” during his tirade. Government of the people clearly. Luckily, oh BoJo joined in and backed the police, claiming that it would have made sense if the police had arrested Mitchell. David Cameron’s support for Mitchell, however, remains. Not hard to see why Boris gets cheers and Cameron gets boos.

In Other News…

Julian Assange remains hidden in the Ecuadorian embassy celebrating his centenary of days spent in the building last week. Amnesty International have recently asked that the Swedish authorities to break the existing impasse by offering assurances that the WikiLeaks founder will not be extradited to the US.

John Terry, the former England captain, has been found guilty for using racially abusive language towards Anton Ferdinand last October. The decision has been criticised for both the lengthy time taken as well as the apparent leniency of a four match ban and £220,000 fine; Terry mantains his innocence, despite footage clearly showing the player uttering the words “f***ing black c***”.

And Kofi Annam, the former UN Secretary General, has said that Tony Blair could have stopped the Iraq War if he had withdrawn British support from the US-led invasion and would have become a “great politician”. Instead, he took it and became a national hate figure with many desperate to see him prosecuted for war crimes. Just a small mistake then.

Tune in next Monday morning for your weekly political news fix…


Discussion1 Comment

  1. avatar
    Elizabeth Coates

    I would interested to see what the fallout from the Presidential debates will be. If Romney manages to be elected, I will be trembling in my boots.
    I was also very amused by the little bomb diagram. One has to question the effectiveness of such a diagram, but you have to admire the man’s creativity. Perhaps the pre-school level was a subtle hint to the audience to find another job?
    An excellent, witty article.

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