Some male Tinder users feel that they are ‘entitled’ to do whatever they want with ‘unattractive’ women on dates, as compensation for the ‘breach of trust’ that has occurred, according to research by Manchester Metropolitan University.
They believe that if the women doesn’t look as ‘attractive’ as her photos, then they are allowed to use the woman however they want. The study focused primarily on heterosexual male-female relationships and questioned male Tinder users in Manchester and Cheshire.
Of course, Tinder is primarily based on looks. Photos can be tapped on to reveal a short bio and interests, but the majority of people just swipe based on that initial photo. The majority of people use it as a hook-up app, in order to get laid that night. So it could be said for Tinder that, yes, looks do matter. Personalities can’t really be gauged through it. Perhaps after a conversation, but conversations can only happen if both people swipe for each other. So initial meeting is entirely dependent on looks-based attraction.
To stereotype further for the sake of argument, a lot of women on Tinder (understandably) want to look nice. They might upload photos of club nights, with a full face of make-up and a tiny dress, which they’ll probably be unlikely to wear to a 1pm coffee date. Not only will the make-up look different in comparison but, sorry guys, filters don’t exist in real life. I know it seems hard to look at a girl without the black and white filter or the puppy ears and nose Snapchat feature, but not every photo of someone will look exactly like them. To say men are entitled to do ‘whatever they want’ to a woman because she doesn’t look how they expected shows that those men are only interested in these photos, and not on the person on the inside. Also that tricky eyeliner and highlight confuses these men – women aren’t lying to the men, they just like a bit of blush.
This also encourages rape culture, or at least does nothing to help combat it. It’s countering the fact that women are their own people who deserve respect, suggesting that they’re just liars who owe men sex to teach them the lesson to not lie on their profiles or deceive people with their dastardly contouring. How dare women enhance their natural beauty?
The idea of what it means to be a woman has changed. As feminism became a movement and adapted, the role of women in society began to change. Women can now have a family and work, and later not have a family or get married and it is seen as okay because there are lots of things women can do while still being considered a woman. In short, women’s gender roles have adapted. Men haven’t really had a similar thing happen, so now women have these support networks and help available; but men don’t have the same help as women. Men still have strict gender roles, like ‘men should be strong’, ‘boys don’t cry’. Women have had a massive change and get so much support, but what about the men?
Of course, there are men who think that they can do what they want to ‘ugly’ dates. But women also tend to be pandered to and wrapped in cotton wool – there’s a taxi app just for women with only female drivers, enforcing the idea that men are bad people who will hurt poor defenceless women. Some will. Some won’t. All people need to learn to stay safe and how to get support and learn self-defence – just in case they do need to get out of a bad situation.