Considering so far all this series seems to have been is a vanity project for me to eat large quantities of junk food, I feel it is finally time to justify it. To get people on my side. And what better way to do that than to take everyone’s undeniably very cute fur babies, consider the merits of each one, and finally crown an overall winner. The comments and critiques come from an expert judging panel on cuteness, and if people want a future one with their chance for their pet to shine, we may see this return shortly.
On to our first entry, from The Edge’s Editor Anneka Honeyball, Bowie the kitten. He is undeniably very cute, being a five month old kitten, and his name choice is top notch. He runs around a lot, so immediately, I feel that he doesn’t represent the typical uni student. But the heart-shape made when his paws connect is a nice touch. A strong start.
Megan Isaac puts forward Freya. Damn, that cat can pose. She enjoys eating and sleeping all the time, and so I feel connected to her on a spiritual level already. The fact she can do a roly-poly is a pretty awesome trick, but the fact she destroyed a tower of Jenga once while doing such a thing is amazing. Freyazilla; humans and wooden towers beware.
Carly-May, the Opinion’s Editor herself, offers up the next pet – George, her best friend. His life goal is to find something comfy and sleep in it, which I feel is a very good decision indeed. In the birthday collage of pictures which she provides, I am instantly drawn to the bottom right image – his piercing green eyes are judging my life choices and tutting. The cat is a good judger.
Anneka is back with her next entry (she is clearly very determined to win this) – Cassie, the champagne German Shepherd. She is very, very snazzy. Her resemblance to a Direwolf is definitely a plus in our book, but on the flipside Anneka does say she eats things she is not supposed to, and I take that to potentially include me if I wandered into her domain.
Sophie Trenear is promoting Sam, the awesome black dog named after the legendary Life on Mars detective, and taken far too early. He was a drama queen apparently, and claimed dominion over the sofa as only a dog could. His pretty awesome party trick of perfecting high fives does sadden me somewhat however- it is the moment I realised that all these pets are cooler than I have ever been, or ever will be.
Megan returns with Colin, Freya’s twin brother. Like all good brother combos, Colin is the Loki to Freya’s Thor. Scourge of postmen everywhere, he is also a big fan of cake, and I like to think this means we’d get along well. Colin already surpasses me in one aspect, he can dance and enjoys a kitchen disco. Rock on, cat.
Pippa Short’s Jack Russell Jenna only has one eye, and that already creates that tug-on-the-heartstrings factor, not to mention that she is sitting in such a cute pose, almost begging. She believes she is a little human, in her maternal care of other cats, and is always willing to bravely defend anyone from the evil Hoover. This contest is getting more heated.
Carly-May’s second entry comes up next, her old cat Floyd. His eyeliner is how you say ‘on fleek’. Pro – he likes buttered toast. Smart cat. Con – he likes marmite. Carly says he liked super clean white socks, which is hardly a surprise as they would match his paws. His skills at knocking down Christmas trees are something I can only aspire to in life.
We move onto to Will Hodgett’s black labrador, Buddy. He isn’t very good at hide and seek apparently. Neither was I, my friend. His psychotic barking at the murderous doorbell does seem somewhat amusing, but considering it further, it might just get a tiny bit annoying. I do love a good Labrador though.
Anneka returns with her third pride and joy, Neo. The jet-black maverick is one of the ‘most chillest cats to roam the Earth’ according to his owner, and his suave look screams ‘Cat James Bond’. His hobbies include glaring at the aforementioned Direwolf, which takes a lot of guts. I just think it would eat me.
Last, but certainly not least is Ashleigh Millman’s long awaited Toastie, who she states is ‘the ultimate, the greatest, the last living blood to the almighty cat throne.’ She also wears a wig pretty well. Her evidence displeasure at Ashleigh’s selfie habit is reflected in the photos, and I can sympathiz=se with Toastie on that one. She is also training to be a ninja, at least according to the image collage.
So now, we come to the absolute hardest part of this. Picking a favourite that won’t alienate every other competitor and make them hate me. And that is difficult to say the least. My favourite two skills I think the pets have between
them is Freya’s ability to destroy Jenga towers while doing roly-polys (ultimate multitasking), and also Neo’s guts for glaring at the wolf. He isn’t going to back down for anyone. Special props to Ashleigh and Carly-May for p
roviding collage images showing their cats at different times, I feel I really managed to connect with them both.
But now, we come to the overall winner. The accolade must to go to Pippa Short’s Jenna, the Jack Russell. The perfect blend of aww and ha-ha, the judges could really tell her maternal instincts from the image, but also that she herself is big softie at heart. She may be missing an eye, but I still think she would have won regardless.
(Thanks to all competitors, sorry if your pet didn’t win, please don’t hate me or send a wolf to eat me…)