To those who tried to break me,
Do you remember the good ol’ days at school? Where you yelled ‘nobody likes you’, ‘go slit your wrists you emo sl*t’, ‘you should cut down, not across’ and ‘I hope you die’…No? Well, shall we take a trip down memory lane and indulge in the torment I endured by the likes of you?
It is one of the worst things which I was personally a victim of for at least sixteen years of my life. I remember the constant taunts, the emotional and physical abuse I received and thinking that you were right… maybe I should die. Maybe, just maybe, I did not deserve happiness and I was angry, I’ll admit. Angry at the world for all the grief you caused me and the others who were also victimised by the likes of you. Not only did you this to me, you did it to at least seven other people – what gives you the right to make someone feel so insignificant? To tell them to die or even to lay your hands on them?
I remember thinking ‘how could someone hate me so much that they wished for me to commit suicide? How can anyone excuse this type of behavior? How come nobody, nobody at all, intervened?’ – something which could have stopped a lot of pain in my life. You saw it as a bit of ‘fun’, but those jokes were not jokes to my friends or I… you never once stopped to consider your actions.
Many reported you and sadly, nothing was done. What does it mean when a victim is going to their teacher to report it and nothing is done? What does it mean when we are told to ignore it? Answer: nothing. The authority in school and college only made it worse and could not save me. Nothing came of trying to stop this abuse for myself or others… that was until I found my voice.
You fought with your vile tongues and I bit back, I would not lay down and roll over to your bullying. You wanted to break me, see me falter and fail, but you did not and that was the best decision I ever made – I refused to let others suffer at your hands or be subjected to your verbal abuse.
I hope you are happy, you did ruin my memories of school, that you won. But overall you did not win. With this new-found confidence, I could block a lot of your abuse at school and I stopped caring about what others thought. In a sense, I am grateful for what you did because I continued to work on myself and use that hate for you as my drive to achieve. Since then, I have gone on to develop my confidence further, as well as a great sense of humour, so thank you, guys!
If you take one thing from this, let it be that sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.