The Room – Online Gaming at its Best


For those of you who have been reading the Weekly Distraction articles, I hope you got as addicted as I did to The Room game (Week 3). If not, DO IT NOW:

The game is based on Tommy Wiseau’s cult “black comedy” The Room (2003). If you haven’t seen it, you must.  At the moment it’s only available on Region 1 DVD off Amazon but I’m on the mailing list for when it becomes available on Region 2 and I plan to beg and plead with Union Films to let me show it there. I would try to summarise the film but it’s genuinely impossible to give a short synopsis of such a masterpiece, so for now, acquaint yourselves with these short clips: – You’re tearing me apart Lisa! – Hi Doggy! – Oh hi, Mark. – I definitely have breast cancer. *This subplot is never mentioned again in the entire film.

You get the idea. It’s awful. So awful it’s brilliant, and some absolute geniuses made a computer game of it. You will be in control of Johnny (Tommy Wiseau) and aid him in his quests which fulfil the basic plot line of the film, accompanied by the impeccable dialogue. Johnny is outside his place of work, The Bank of San Francisco, when an earthquake hits! This has no bearing on the rest of the game. Mark (best friend) and Claudette (girlfriend Lisa’s mother) arrive, and you are given your first quest – buy the foul red dress for Lisa that she wears in the party scene. From here, you move around the city, from the dress shop to the flower store (a perfect reconstruction from the above “Hi Doggy!” scene, complete with monotone shop keeper), a Back to the Future themed café, the police station, the electronics shop and the park.

Throughout the game you are given a variety of missions to complete, including competing in a race against Mark, and Chris R, the very scary drug dealer who tries to “kill” Denny, the creepiest adult/child in movie history, as well as finding a tape recorder to spy on Lisa, and throwing a football around with Mark, Denny and Peter whilst you all wear your tuxes. Without wanting to spoil it too much, you really need to see this through to the end in order to get to the stage when Johnny loses it completely; he turns into a rampaging madman and you get to punch the shit out of everything in the game.

You must also try to collect 10 spoons throughout your quest (in reference to the random photo of a spoon Johnny has on his table). These are hidden in an assortment of places and you will be rewarded for finding all 10 at the end of the game. There are also 6 things you should “accidentally” see. These are usually quite disturbing and weird, such as Denny shitting in a bucket and Claudette blowing up a balloon with her arse. The graphics are very amateur but then so is the film so it fits pretty well. Johnny occasionally gets stuck to the furniture and you have to jostle him about a bit but other than that it’s good fun. Especially making sandwiches for Mark and Peter when you’re able to put literally anything you find in the kitchen on them, including a dead rat and some lethal-looking cleaning products.

Anyone who loves The Room will adore this for all its absurdity and irreverence, and anyone who hasn’t seen it will be desperate to. I’m not accounting for anyone who has seen it and didn’t like it, because they are obviously unhinged.


Discussion4 Comments

    • avatar
      Bex Beesley

      It is a must. I felt so bad putting on a bad film night there without showing The Room. For the next one, it will be the highlight of the night.

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