In contrast to the general procedure of recent years, SUSU has announced that this year’s elections will actually be decided based on the policies of each candidate, rather than their popularity, their slogan, or how willing they are to demean themselves on an embarrassing Photoshopped poster.
Candidates used to merely having to win over the more stupid students with bright colours and catchy taglines will have to work much harder this year following the statement from within SUSU this morning:
“We know that our previous system was working extremely well. It was a great big SUSU orgy where only people involved in the Union had any chance and everybody voted for their friends, and confused non-Union plebs voted for the person that seemed funny or had boobs.
But for 2013, we wanted to mix things up a bit. Candidates will now have to actually take time on their manifestos: just claiming they will ‘make the Cube better’ won’t hack it any more.”
This change in policy has affected the previous frontrunner candidates who were counting on the popular vote, including SUSU cat, the seven-item breakfast, and that one-legged duck that lives at Chamberlain.