Taylor Swift’s New Album Bombs Due to Optimistic Content


In the wake of her successful performance at the Brit Awards, Taylor Swift released a new album that was met with universal hatred from her fanbase, with the general consensus being that it was too ‘emotionally stable’.

Much of the blame was placed on Swift ditching her usual songwriting technique of snaring a boyfriend, ending the relationship within a month through a careful combination of needy and crazy, and then crafting the resulting forced emotion into instant musical smashes.

The new album was recorded when Taylor was in a ‘good mood for once’, reflected in the album title ‘I Should Stop Hating On Men For A Bit’. Fans and critics alike have expressed their disgust at the record’s upbeat tone and focus on stable, happy relationships, and executives have so far reported a staggering $37 million loss in profits.

Some of the songs from the flop album include ‘Cuddles In Bed With A Movie’, ‘I No Longer Resent That You Have A Penis’, ‘I Knew You Were Trouble And Hence Decided To Pursue A Healthier Relationship Instead’, and an exclusive duet with Rihanna titled ‘Actually, Let’s Get Back Together (Even Though It’s A Terrible Idea)’.


Editor and MA English student. Follow on Twitter @SamEverard1

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