Wildest Student in History Goes Out on a Weeknight


In a campus first, 2nd year Politics student Ted Marsters broke from established conventions by going on a night out mid-week, despite having at least three hours of lectures the next day.

Marsters, 19, had ‘been to a pub’ before heading down to centre of town, where he remained until roughly 4 a.m. He returned to his housemates, reported ‘worried sick’, around 4:30.

A housemate, who preferred to remain anonymous, said:

“We don’t know what to do, he’s out of control. I mean, sure, have a few drinks on a Friday or Saturday night, assuming you’re on top of work. But come on, a Tuesday?! He had lectures the next day! We’re here to study, and he’s just throwing that back in our faces. You know, sometimes, he has two beers with dinner. We’re at a loss, the house is falling apart.”

A statement released from the university confirmed that Marsters had even missed a lecture the next day, possibly due to a hangover. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” said a member of staff. “Can you imagine missing any teaching because you’d been drinking? It’s the craziest thing I’ve heard since starting to work here, and frankly I’m appalled.”

Police have launched an investigation into the student’s mental state, and have requested any possible information on his whereabouts. Ted was last seen ‘being rowdy’ around 10:30pm at karaoke night.


Editor and MA English student. Follow on Twitter @SamEverard1

Leave A Reply