Experts Say Some St. Patrick’s Day Revellers ‘May Not Have Been Irish’

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In the aftermath of yesterday’s St. Patrick’s Day festivities, numerous experts in Irish culture have been questioning the ancestry of some of the people out celebrating, dressing in green and pretending to like Guinness for the evening.

Reports from nightclubs and themed pubs across the country last night suggest that many were celebrating on the basis of being ‘at least 1/64th Irish’, and that this arbitrary percentage made this their national holiday. Some venues have even stated that up to 45% of fights last night were not started by Irishmen.

Professor of Irish Studies Greg Hannity said:

“It’s a very disturbing trend. When I tried to explain who St. Patrick was, I got beaten up by a group of topless green men and told he was the patron saint of f***ing shit up. Sometimes, I  think that these people don’t value the holiday at all and actually just want to get drunk and party. It’s a worrying thought, but it could be true.”

Similar reports of rugby fans supporting Wales in the recent Six Nations match because ‘they’d been there once on holiday’ are being investigated.

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Editor and MA English student. Follow on Twitter @SamEverard1

Discussion8 Comments

  1. avatar

    While I do enjoy satire, your satire gets tiring because you never change subject. You’re always comparing your subject(s) of the piece to ‘student lifestyles of drunkenness’. Please, give it a break and diverse.

    Sam Everard
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    Students were never mentioned in this piece, for a start. And yes, of the last 3 of my pieces 2 had that theme, but that’s certainly not a common one. Finally, the word you’re looking for is ‘diversify’. You were close though.

  2. avatar

    All these pause articles just re-use the same joke. You state something obvious in a fake news story format. Perhaps try and think of something new!

    james
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    gees shut up troll.

    Sam Ling
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    I take it you’ve never read the Onion? This is a genre of satire, so like any genre of course there are similarities in construction and concept. However the context changes.

  3. avatar
    The People's Voice

    Please try something new in your next article. One successful article (your first one) does not mean that it will work as a series of the same crap…

    Mich
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    Well said.

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