20th Century Fox Options ‘Holy Action Movie’ Despite Protests


The major film company is said to be going ahead with plans to shoot a big-budget religious action film later this year, despite a huge outcry from religious groups across the world.

According to its official press release, the film – currently titled Murder for Prophet – is a ‘laugh-a-minute, explosive action comedy in the vein of The A-Team, but the team consists of beloved leaders and figures from various world faiths. When an evil newspaper magnate threatens to destroy religion forever, the team need to stop him the only way they know how: with a few prayers, and a lot of guns!’ The ‘stars’ of the film have not been officially released yet, but early reports suggest Buddha, Mother Teresa and Jesus will feature. Jason Statham is already in talks to play the Dalai Lama.

Martin Syed, protesting the film as part of a huge multicultural group outside Fox headquarters, said:

“I can’t believe anybody went ahead and actually greenlit this. There’s literally nobody they’re not offending. My wife’s offended, and she’s an atheist.”

The proposed film has sparked an enormously negative response from the public, with the religious and non-religious alike coming together to condemn the movie. Prominent figures across the world have publicly denounced the film, except Mitt Romney, who said it sounded like ‘a hoot’.

A Fox executive spoke out in the movie’s defence, saying:

“The reports of negative press are greatly exaggerated. This movie was the result of years of market research. People like explosions. People like violence and big action sequences. People like casual nudity. People like hilariously stereotyped sidekicks. And people like religion. So we’ve combined all of those elements into one film. On paper, it’s perfect. We’re aiming for PG-13 as well for maximum market potential, so we’ve got to restrict the amount of times we make Buddha say shit. We even managed to get behind not being able to show Muhammad by making him the ‘director’ of the team whose face you never see because he’s always got his back turned in a big chair. Honestly, we’re just giving the people what they want. Also, Brett Ratner’s directing and Michael Bay’s signed on as a consultant, and how could that pairing ever produce a bad movie?”

Some test footage of Jesus singlehandedly destroying a meth factory was screened in venues across the US earlier this week. Disgusted audiences walked out of every cinema bar one venue in the Midwest, where feedback was surprisingly positive.


Editor and MA English student. Follow on Twitter @SamEverard1

Discussion5 Comments

  1. avatar
    The Comedy Police

    This writer’s sense of humour is AWFUL!


    So…instead of thinking ‘hmm, that style of comedy didn’t appeal to me, better go find something else that does’, you think ‘hmm, that style of comedy doesn’t appeal to me, better insult the writer!’. That’s the mark of decent humanity right there. Oh wait, no. No it isn’t.


    Well its a fair point. Half of the content of this website seem to be the same bad joke over and over again. I thought this was supposed to be the place for ‘propper’ journalism.

    These pieces can’t really be seen as satire, as they never seem to relate to current events. On the odd occasion that they do, they bare no resemblance to actual events–its just “public figure/religious figure doing something out of charafter/offensive”. There must be a dozen of them by the same guy. This one seems to have come out of nowhere unless I’ve missed something?

    They’re usually littered with curse words and poor grammar. There has to be some kind of quality control. Perhaps instead of shouting people down who have negative things to say, you should listen and realise this isn’t what people want to read over and over again. If they did, they can go read The Onion.

  2. avatar

    it should be made clearer when wessex scene links these things on facebook that it’s in the pause section. maybe i’m stupid but when i first saw the link i though it was a genuine story, which is why i clicked on it.

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