Vodafone users could potentially be without signal for months after rival communications giant EE disrupted a Vodafone mast in the Highfield area with a specially trained peregrine falcon.
The falcon, which is nesting on the mast and will probably remain there until June, was released from the EE labs after sixteen months of intensive training and headed straight for the Vodafone lines. Witness reports indicate the falcon looks ‘well fed’ and ‘oddly smug’.
A fictitous spokesman from EE said:
“We couldn’t be more pleased with how our latest attempt at sabotage has gone. The war between telecoms companies is getting more and more complex, and this is us taking the fight to the next level. We employed the finest falconers to train the bird to nest on only Vodafone masts. The initial tests were with pigeons, but they didn’t have the resolve or staying power we were after. Plus, this little guy’s endangered! There’s nothing they can do without a lawsuit or massive public backlash!”
Vodafone have responded to these new developments by dressing up personnel as male falcons and sending them up the mast in an effort to confuse and seduce the incumbent. These efforts have so far been unsuccessful.