Woman Caught In St. Jude Storm Gets Swept Away to a Magical Fantasy Land


A 22-year-old woman who was walking home during last night’s storm was carried off in winds of almost 80mph and is now trapped in a colourful dream world.

Southampton resident Hazel Myers was on her way home from work at approximately 2:40am when she claims an especially strong gust of wind knocked her unconscious and hurled her up into the air. Ms Myers told police that when she woke she was in a strange, brightly coloured town and is now ‘being held hostage by singing midgets’.

Myers managed to get signal and call the authorities soon after waking, but has been unable to provide emergency services with a valid location. An armed unit has been dispatched to attempt to bring her home, but the vague directions from the locals to ‘follow the yellow brick road’ have so far proved useless. An ambulance is also on the way as Myers’ fall was broken on arrival by a frail old woman who requires urgent medical attention, despite local insistence that she is a ‘witch’.

In a phone call to police, Myers said:

“I’m ok. I’m a bit shaken and I want to come home, but I’m holding up. Honestly, I think there’s something in the water here. Everyone keeps bursting into song and the midgets keep insisting I can get home by clicking my heels together. It’s really messed up.”

Ms Myers’ contact with police revealed that the locals have nicknamed her iPhone ‘Toto’, and that they are also harbouring a pet lion. Myers stated that she was reassured that the lion was ‘cowardly’, but there’s no way to really be sure.


Editor and MA English student. Follow on Twitter @SamEverard1

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