Students Learn on Day of No Learning


Amid Thursday’s strike by staff at uni, students took it upon themselves to use the day to teach each other, giving lecturers a day off to take action on their diminishing pay, but with a little less disregard for the service workers as no toilet cleaning or gardening was spotted.

Many students made it to their Thursday lectures in a hungover state, forgetting about the university wide cancellations. When seated, and after the ‘if the lecturer is 3 minutes late Im leaving’ rule had been and gone, students took to the stand. At first, it was to feel the power of having that microphone and oversized Powerpoint board behind them, mimicking lecturers and their subjects. The balance shifted, however, when the late-comers started taking notes much like real life lecture situations as lifting their head up became too much to bear in the heat of building 58 at 9am. This quickly led to ‘student lecturers’ teaching fellow peers life skills in a bid to make the Church Lane marathon seem a little more worth it. Course friends soon took the stand, exchanging advice on methods of pumpkin carving, how to build a tree house and routes into employment when your Facebook suggests you are unemployable: namely, skills required for later life.

Whilst lecturers were busy networking...
Whilst lecturers were busy networking.

The trend kicked off, not merely just because students had forgotten about the strikes but because they were desperate to be on campus making the most of their tuition fees: even on their extra day off, they entered lecture and seminar rooms for some ‘quiet study’ but came out with skills for life.


One student from Biology said:

I learnt how to safely boil an egg, how to change a lightbulb and even how to eat as many crackers as possible in a minute. After 6 years at the University, this is the first time I can leave a lecture in the safe knowledge that I will use these skills more than once and even after January exams.

Another engineering student said:

Another student stepped up and showed us the hair brush and even how to communicate in an unsociably awkward manner, I’m a new man with freedom and good hair.

It appears that after weeks of scepticism about students suffering most from the strikes that some good has come for those that were desperate to maintain their weekly contact time with peers and lecturers.

David Mendoza-Wolfson VP Education said

I don’t really know what’s going on, but it was in my manifesto.

As the day went on and more students heard about the goings on, and dragged themselves up to campus, 96% of lectures gained full attendance, the highest in the university’s history. It has been suggested that the university will now take up students as teachers of all things useful for one day a year after mass praise of the activities.


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