Early in July Chancellor George Osborne released the details of his most recent Budget, in which he intends to replace student maintenance grants with more loans and scrap housing benefits for 18 to 21 year olds. Yes! All we ever wanted. Here are six reasons why we need to bow down to Mr Osborne right now.
1. Were you, at this very moment, thinking, ‘I have too much money’ Same! Fear not, those pesky pounds will disappear once maintenance grants become loans, and paying off your student debt will be as satisfying as standing on a cliff throwing bank notes into the wind.
2. Did you go through university without venturing beyond pasta and takeaways? If so you can throw up your hands and praise Ozzy now because you will never have to learn to cook! You’ll be living with your mum for the rest of your life (and she makes the best carbonara you’ve ever had).
3. A wise man called Notorious BIG once said “Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems”, and so by that logic, you are set to have exactly zero problems. Wow. Thanks, George (and thank you Biggie).
4. If you studied Marxism at school and hated it, there is no better revenge on Karl Marx himself than watching your country move as far away from a classless utopia as possible. Small victories.
5. The National Living Wage is set to rise to £9 an hour for workers over 25 years of age by 2020, although tax credit cuts affect 18 to 21 year olds. This doesn’t make any sense. Never mind.
6. Finally, just when you thought you wouldn’t have the perfect fashion staple to see in the new season, that red briefcase makes its way onto your newsfeed. The deep red is perfect for autumn – it will be in Topshop soon enough. Just don’t look at your bank balance before buying it.
In conclusion, if you think like was going just too well, have no fear – Osborne is here.