Frankly there was no way of making this article anything other than a sordid carousel of sex jokes and puns about pigs and pig-based products. I decided to cave in and just list all the good ones.
The allegations that David Cameron put his genitals in the mouth of a dead pig are shocking, he was, after all, only playing a game of Piggy-in-the-Middle. Boris Johnson has allegedly refused to comment.
David Cameron tuned into the infamous TV channel Babestation, only to be disappointed that nothing to do with Charlotte’s Web could be found. Not as disappointed as when he turned up to a hog being Spitroasted however.
We are not sure whether to call him David Hameron or David Gammeron in this article.
It certainly gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “bloody good porking” though.
“Most degrading thing I’ve ever done” – The Pig
“The whole episode left a bad taste in my mouth” – The Pig again
Complaints about the Tory cabinet being a Sausage-Fest have apparently taken a whole new level, even if Hameron saved Britain’s bacon.
And after this filthy display, I leave you with the obligatory Cassetteboy