Many Europeans already suspected it, but the truth has now became evident: Angela Merkel and her Government have secret plans for world domination. In leaked documents, exclusively obtained by the Wessex Scene, the German chancellor describes in horrifying detail how this typically cruel and, of course, totally efficient plan is going to be exercised. The Wessex Scene is the first publication worldwide to reveal this plan to the public.
Angela Merkel and her secret world domination minions planned this hostile takeover for years. Together with former chancellor Helmut Kohl, who was already part of the plan from the beginning, she has developed five steps to reach the goal of ruling over the world. But this time they wanted it to be more clever than last time. This time no weapons were involved. Nobody should die.
Step one – The Euro
With the introduction of the Euro in 1998 Helmut Kohl, and in the background Angela Merkel, took the first step to rule over Europe. To introduce a single currency without the automatic flow of money between the member states was the first clever part of the plan. In 1998 Helmut Kohl said:
“The introduction of the Euro is in the innermost economic interest also and not only of the Germans“
He was not lying. The Germans are better off than everyone else in Europe. But it was not only the economic interest; what wasn’t said was that it has helped the Government to come a bit closer to the goal of world domination. But with just the Euro this plan could not become reality. The evil villain’s plan goes much further than anybody ever thought.
Step two – The Crises
By deregulating the Banks, and because of German investment in American housing, the bubble burst and the crises began. In the beginning German banks and governments bought massive amounts of American housing bonds that nobody understood. Nobody? No! A few people in Berlin knew what it was. The German government and their evil white-collar criminal masterminds already had planned this feast of death for the world. These poisoned bonds that nobody could trace back to their roots in the “Kanzleramt” melted down the world economy like cheese in the sun. With secret criminal persuasion techniques found in old Nazi-archives other countries were told to buy these worthless papers for horrendous prices. The people who bought them lost everything and the governments had to bail them out. This brought us another crises in the Eurozone.
Step three – Austerity measures (current position)
With Greece, Ireland, Portugal, Spain and Italy on the way to default it was easy to take over Europe. Everywhere we can see new governments in place: Mario Monty in Italy: Just a puppet from the Puppet master Angela Merkel. Spain: Now controlled by Germany. Greece: Did not want to surrender. Is now learning the hard way. Portugal is German ever since and Ireland said YES to the Austerity measures. But was there ballot stuffing going on? Nobody knows. But that is what Merkel wants.
By telling everyone that they are helping with money only when the government agrees to spending cuts and tax increases Angela Merkel brought the Eurozone under her control.
Step four – German as the official language
On the conference of Merkel’s Party CDU the leader of the CDU MPs in the Bundestag said:
“Europe is now speaking German!”
This sentence must have brought severe repercussions for him. The reason: He should not have said that at that time. This is the plan for the future. It is the ultimate goal to achieve before world domination. Slogans like “Freude am Fahren” or “Vorsprung durch Technik” or “Das Auto” are not yet understandable for most Europeans. But they soon will get what they mean. The secret plan is to only give money if the curriculum at schools is changed to learning German from the first day of school. In the fifth year of school then every class will be taught in German. If a country does not want to do that it will not receive any money any more.
So if you want to have kids don’t panic if they say “Guten Morgen” instead of “Good Morning” .
The last thing introduced will be the daily singing of the German National Anthem in front of a German flag and a picture of Angela Merkel. You think you heard it all before? You are right because this will lead to…
Step five – World Domination
With all Europe Germanized the last step to World Domination is reached. In every item exported from Germany a little hidden super computer is built in. This computer is able to do anything. Most importantly it can be used to stop everything from working that has parts built in that were “Made in Germany”. And if you believe it or not: This applies to nearly everything produces anywhere on the planet. Now Germany is in control of countries infrastructure that luckily did not have the Euro. Every new thing produced, any transportation, any consumption is now in the hands of the puppet mistress Angela Merkel. And with the Pope being German the catholic church will do the rest and make the people in the world believe it is a good thing how it went.
A silver lining
This does not look good for the future of Europe. If we don’t want this all to happen we have to keep up the fight. Show Angela that you don’t want her as a leader. Continue to print caricatures with her and swastikas. Continue to draw Hitler moustaches on every picture of her. Continue to shout for revolution against the thread from the centre of Europe. Or pray that the monster of Loch Ness will come and save us all. But if this does not work, we have only one hope: Al Quaida.
The Author has to claim that the authenticity of the leaked papers cannot be confirmed yet but we trust our sources. Thanks for your help Nigel Farage and for digging the little bit deeper in Berlin and Brussels. We couldn’t have done it without you. In the end you can say that you have always known it.
Disclaimer: This is satire. All of it.
Update (8 June 2012/ 4:30 pm): The satirical newspaper “Daily Express” also ran a similar story about Germany today. But they don’t have the exclusive content. Amateurs.