- Labour Party and Business: A Difficult Relationship?
- Chameleon Conservative Cameron Shows True Colours
- An Election Reflection for a Majority Minority
- Mhairi Black: Giving Politics a Makeover
- Galloway Threatens Legal Action Over Election Result
- Voter Turnout: What The Numbers Tell Us About The 2015 General Election
- Looking At The Reaction to the Election Explains its Result
- The Polls Were Wrong Because People Lied, it’s That Simple!
- Russell Brand “Resigns” from Politics following General Election Result
- It’s Not The Cold War Anymore, We Don’t Need a Nuclear Deterrent
- The Future of Labour: Who Will Be The Next Leader?
- The Future of the Liberal Democrats: Who Will Be the Next Leader?
- The Future of UKIP: Who Will Be the Next Leader?
- A Tale of Three Ends
- The Tory Legacy
- If the Party Leaders were characters from Friends…who would you vote for?
- The Ten (Well, Six) Commitments: Is Stone Legally Binding?
- Tuition Fees: A Hollow Attempt to Pander to the Student Vote?
- 6,417 Ed Milligrams – What Do You Actually Vote For?
- Boris Johnson to become Gangster Rapper
- Political Engagement: The Calm After the Storm
- Parliamentary Candidate Interview: Green Party’s John Spottiswoode.
- Parliamentary Candidate Interviews: TUSC’s Sue Atkins
- Parliamentary Candidate Interview, Independent Candidate Chris Daviss
- “I don’t think the Liberal Democrats should be in government just for the sake of it” – An Interview With Nick Clegg
- Parliamentary Candidate Interview, TUSC’s Nick Chaffey
- Parliamentary Candidate Interview: Conservative’s Jeremy Moulton.
- Should Young People Be Made To Vote?
- The Nationalist Parties
- No Votes for Women?
- None of the Political Candidates Ticking Your Box? There is Another Option.
- The Other Parties
- Liberal Democrats Party Profile
- The Green Party
- Labour Party Profile
- In Defence of the Coalition
- Why Labour Should Win the Election But Won’t
- The Protest Vote: The Weapon of the Disenfranchised.
- Why Young People Must Use Their Vote
- An Interview With Natalie Bennett
- What Will a Multi-Party System Mean for Britain?
- Tuition Fees: Must Try Harder Ed
- Science and Policy
- This Election is Far Bigger Than Party Politics
- Parliamentary Candidate Interviews: Ian Callaghan, Green Party
- Parliamentary Candidate Interviews: Lib Dem’s Adrian Ford
- Paliamentary Candidate Interview – Labour’s Darren Paffey
- Parliamentary Candidates Interviews: Lib Dem’s Eleanor Bell
- TV Debates: The Crucifixion of David Cameron
- Parliamentary Candidate Interview – Labour’s Rowenna Davis
- Parliamentary Candidate Interview, the Green Party’s Angela Mawle
- Can We Trust Politicians Who Act Like Schoolchildren?
- Parliamentary Candidate Interview – UKIP’s Sandra James
- Manifesto Focus: Labour
- Why Nuclear Weapons Are Imperative For The UK’s Security
- Southampton’s Role in the General Election Should Not Be Overshadowed by a Sausage Roll
- Just When You Thought UKIP Couldn’t Do Anything Right…
- What the Hell Do You Want?
- Which Political Leader Are You?
- The EU: To Be or Not To Be
- Your 2015 General Election Candidates
- What a Silly Sausage: Southampton UKIP Candidate Accused of Bribery
- UKIP Party Profile
- Conservative Party Profile
- The Leaders Debate: The Insurgents, The Pretender & The Incumbent
- SUPA’s Short and Sweet Guide to Voting on 7th May
- TV Debate: Clash of the Titans
- Leaders Debate Brings Hope For Progressive Politics
- TV Debates: David Cameron and Ed Miliband Versus Britain
- 14,000 Voters Missing From Electoral Role in Southampton – Register to Vote Now!
- Men’s Rights Party Set To Contest in General Elections
- A Royal Coup? – Queen Guitarist Brian May Considering Standing for Election
- Debating Over Debates
- Galloway Demands Inclusion in TV Debates
- The General Election 2015 – A Disunited Kingdom?
- 99 Days To Go: The Most Unpredictable Election Yet!
- Poll Indicates Demand for Green Party to be Included in Election Debates
- Have You Registered To Vote?
- Is Sol Campbell running for Parliament?
- Salmond to Stand as MP
- Students May Hold the Key!
- The Green Party Should Not Be Included in the 2015 General Election Debates
- Parliamentary Candidate Interview: Alan Whitehead MP
- What’s at Stake for Students in the General Election?
- It’s Time For Politicians To Get Down With The Kids
- The Debates Debate
- Who Will Run The Country in 2015?
- New Year, New Government? New Politics?
- Newly Elected Itchen MP Accused of Helping UKIP Secure Labour Votes
In this era of career politicians and a tired establishment, working out who will screw you over the least is really quite difficult. The expert political analysts at Pause have come up with the solution. Voting on personalities is one thing, but which political personality suits you? Take our scientific test.
Question 1: You go out with your family for a Sunday lunch, but what do you order?
- Caviar with a gallon of the finest champagne to drink
- Ethically sourced cous-cous fairtrade harvested by blind Peruvian children and some herbal tea
- Whatever your spouse tells you to eat
- A full Sunday roast, roast beef with all the trimmings, washed down with a pint of bitter
- A bacon sandwich
Question 2: You are late for work and your boss asks you why, what do you say?
- That you were too busy burning tenners in front of poor people
- Your solar powered car didn’t start due to clouds
- Your wife was telling you off
- You had to stop on the way for a pint. Also too many immigrants on the road.
- You were distracted by a rare train passing
Question 3: You win free tickets to any sports event of your choice. Where do you go?
- The VIP enclosure at the horse races
- All sports involve animal cruelty or oppressing minorities. Stay at home and check your privilege
- Something inoffensive like football
- A bloody good cricket match, or rugby if it’s against France or Italy
- The world chess championships
Question 4: What would your ideal Saturday night be?
- Champagne fueled joyriding with minor royals
- Lecturing bored family members on gender politics
- Watching TV with the family
- A pub crawl fuelled by bitter and pork scratchings
- Playing with your train set in the attic
Question 5: Where would your dream holiday be?
- Jetting off to the Maldives
- Ethical tourism to Vietnam, building schools in the delusion of making a contribution
- Wherever your spouse wants to go
- A good old seaside holiday in Bournemouth
- Touring Lincolnshire, making brass rubbings from church doors
Question 6: You are allowed to choose any house to live in, where would you go?
- A sodding great country estate with walls to keep oiks out and a grouse estate
- A hole in the ground with an ethical quilt for a roof
- A three bedroomed semi in the suburbs
- A cosy country cottage near a pub
- A room with a view over a railway junction
Work out which number you scored the most of and see who you are!
MOSTLY 1s: You are David Cameron! It’s time to up your bonus and trash some restaurants, because you are most like the Tory leader and Prime Minister, David Cameron! The toffee-nosed facade hides a sense of enjoyment gained from sending 4 year old children down the coal mines like in Charles Dickens or something.
MOSTLY 2s: You are Natalie Bennett! It’s a good job that cars would be banned under you, because car-crash interviews are the norm here with Natalie Bennett! Your dream is the day that fairtrade MDMA is a reality, but the woolly facade hides a cynical Malthusian misanthropy. Maybe you should put green dye into the town swimming pool to commemorate the ‘Green Surge’?
MOSTLY 3s: You are Nick Clegg! With no independent voice and even fewer MPs next month, it’s hard being a man who only exists to avoid antagonising others, but Nick Clegg does it. We’re not really sure what you stand for, but you definitely stand for your lack of backbone.
MOSTLY4s: You are Nigel Farage! Time to get the pints in, because you’re most like everybody’s favourite national pub bore, Nigel Farage! The Best of British, God Save the Queen, Rule Britannia and boo-sucks to Johnny Foreigner, next time you go to France, drive on the correct side of the road to minimise exposure to the Communist Conspiracy.
MOSTLY 5s: You are Ed Miliband! It’s difficult reminding everyone of the weird kid at school, but you do it well. Rumours of an obsession with trains haven’t been denied, and perhaps you could find more eccentric hobbies to pursue. Just don’t order a bacon sandwich.
The writer would like to point out that he has no political bias, he strongly dislikes all the candidates equally.