With the two leading ladies in the UK failing to solve their feud in Edinburgh, a spokesperson for the Prime Minister said that an appearance on the ‘Jeremy Kyle Show’ was the ‘only logical step’ moving forward.
According to an audience member, when Kyle approached Sturgeon about her intentions on the show today, she said rather exasperatedly that all she wanted was a clear Plan B in the event of a no deal Brexit.
Backstage, it is alleged that May shouted in response that Sturgeon’s mother should have used Plan B contraception, which led to a vicious brawl on-stage.
Graham, Kyle’s right-hand man and face of the show’s security and the aftercare team, reportedly had to intervene once Sturgeon apparently threatened to put a bagpipe where bagpipes do not go.
When we approached Jeremy Kyle for comment on this rather unorthodox negotiation process, he said: ‘Apparently they wanted a Jeremy who wasn’t a raving anti-Semitic to be involved, so here I am’.