Lord Buckethead has contacted Earth via Twitter to announce his intention to return to British politics to restore some much-needed sanity to the country, Number 10 has confirmed.
He famously ran against Theresa May in the 2017 General Election, providing some of the best photos in British politics since that photo of Ed Miliband with the bacon sandwich.
The intergalactic overlord, tuna sandwich in hand, said in a video recording that he decided to do so after seeing Nigel Farage’s own return to politics with his newly found Brexit party. He was simultaneously in awe and annoyed by the total lack of Farage’s self-awareness of attempting to infiltrate and undermine the undemocratic EU … after being democratically voted into the EU.
Frustrated by Brexit, he is, in fact, considering running against Farage in the upcoming EU Parliament Election (no, seriously, he is, I’m not making this part up), after supporters set up a GoFundMe page to fund a possible campaign, writing: ‘Just think. Brexit could be over. Nigel Farage could be vanquished.’
He is in fact so popular that he ‘must contrive a plot to defeat Farage & gang without taking away huge numbers of votes from Remainers. How odd’, he wrote on his Twitter page.
BREAKING NEWS: Since so many have begged me to run against Nigel Farage in the EU Parliament Election on 23 May, a clever Earthling set up this link for you to fund the cost of the pricey deposit. Will I agree to run if the goal is met? MY ANSWER: YES! https://t.co/dEksIF278U pic.twitter.com/Lq19e2SNk2
— Lord Buckethead™ (@LordBuckethead) April 19, 2019
The news has come as a relief to many. The Brexit extension to 31st October has left many frustrated by the already lengthy process, and dreading the number of awful Brexit costumes that will surely be seen on Halloween this year.
Meanwhile, a woman called Annunziata Rees-Mogg (yes, that Rees-Mogg) is claiming to represent the common working men and women of the country on Brexit, a great insult to all the Darrens’ and Staceys’ out there, who are rallying behind “His Bucketness” (his term, not mine).
You may recall the simpler times of 2017, which Lord Buckethead promises to bring back, when Tim Farron was upstaged by a giant fish finger and the worst way Theresa May could mess up in politics was by saying the words ‘fields’ and ‘wheat’ in a poorly thought-out sentence.
The caped crusader contacted us via MySpace to give us some of his plans on how to make British politics alright again:
- One motion, one vote. Except for referendums, of course.
- John Bercow shall remain as Speaker of the House for life.
- Ban The Daily Mail.
- Ban Brexit.
- Ban kormas. Too spicy.
He is expected to arrive somewhere in the country on Thursday but said he would be avoiding London, given that there is no way he will be paying the ultra-low emission zone charge for his spaceship.