Reasons (Not) to Vote

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General Election? Urgh. Referendum? No thanks. Local county council elections? Not for me. Have you just about had it with all the recent hype about something called ‘voting’? Do you need a riposte for your politically active friends when they harangue you to get yourself on the register? Are you just about fed up of living in a liberal democracy where there are institutional processes to express your views on the very infrastructures that define this country? I thought so. Alas, put down LadBible’s twitter and look no further than this helpful article on reasons NOT to vote on the 12th of December.

Your vote, simply, won’t count.

It’s true, let’s face it. There are so many millions of people already voting, what difference will another measly tick-in-a-box make to the outcome? Probably nothing. You, and your vote, are absolutely worthless. In fact, why don’t we tell everyone not to vote and see the effect then? That will really prove the point. Already a third of the country thankfully didn’t turn out to vote for the last election; let’s pump those numbers up.

Politics does not interest or affect you.

Why bother turning up to the polling booth if you’re not interested in what happens anyway. It’s not like it’s ‘the most important general election of our generation’ or anything. This might be the apex of a ‘critical turning point in the nation’s history’ for you, but that just doesn’t quite cut it for me sweetie. Does this face care what the foreseeable future of my host country will look like? Don’t think so. I’m sure there’s much juicier re-runs of The Big Bang Theory on Comedy Central to get stuck into. Lovely.

You’re currently incarcerated and are, therefore, ineligible.

One of the lucky ones.

There is not enough time to get to a polling station.

I don’t know about you, but I like to spend the hours between 7am and 10pm doing something actually useful. Like perusing the shops for some tartan paint, watching said paint dry, and so on and so forth. Basically, anything other than taking twelve seconds out of my day to cross a box in a multiple choice list. Heaven forbid. Also, who even lives near a village hall, primary school, sports hall, church or local government office anymore? Hopefully not me. Here’s another thing, I’d rather not have to interact with the sweet and selfless volunteers giving up their valuable time for the betterment of society at these stations; stay in your lane, Grandma.

Democracy is flawed.

You just want things done, don’t you? I hear you. Just bring back power to our bloody country, give us our £350m and just get it done. Whatever it may be. Fear not, there’s a solution for this kind of thing. Don’t say it too loudly but totalitarian dictatorship.  Circumventing the electorate and traditional legislature has been a theme of twentieth century history and I can’t think of one single example where this has gone wrong. All you’ve got to do is give up your vote and commit to an extreme rollback of any previous freedoms. Easy squeezy.

Having to vote is a burden.

Another good point. Alongside low levels of unemployment and high life expectancy, we really could do without having something like the ability to vote to weigh us down even more. Seriously, it’s getting too much. The millions of people around the world who don’t even have the legal right to vote don’t know how lucky they are. I bet they wouldn’t be so smug if they knew the pressures we’re under come election time.

You’re a moron.

Proudly, defiantly and unashamedly moronic. If you do one thing on the 12th of December; please, please, please don’t vote.

To register to vote, visit https://www.gov.uk/register-to-vote.

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Final year History student, stuck in the past.

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