"Hey Ben! How’s it going? What are you up to?"

"Oh just heading off to go rock climbing actually…" His sentenced trailed off as I zoned out completely, fixated on one thing: rock climbing.

And that conversation is how I ended up rock climbing on a Tuesday afternoon.

From the moment I told Ben I wanted to go climbing, I knew I had gotten myself into trouble. Don’t get me wrong, I was interested in going, but I have a love–hate relationship with rock climbing. Prior to our conversation I had gone twice before in America, both times being roped into it by a friend. It’s those experiences that formed my relationship with rock climbing. I loved it; my stomach on the other hand did not. It was one of those cases similar to that of going to the gym - you don’t really want to, but when you’re finished you feel great. Well, I was always massively scared to rock climb, but when I made it to the top the feeling was incredible.

It was 4pm on a Tuesday afternoon when we met outside the Cube – at least I had made it that far I told myself. As Ben led me downstairs the anticipation was killing me, I could feel my stomach knotting as I explained to him that I am a chronic chicken, and that maybe this first time I will just watch. He just looked at me and laughed. I however, found nothing funny about that statement; this was going to be…interesting.

We arrived at a door, dropped our stuff, and he handed me climbing shoes to put on while he unlocked the door. When I finished tying my shoelace, I looked up cautiously at the rock walls towering over me. Here we go again I thought. I followed him into the room with padded floors (where I would probably be spending most of my time I thought) and walls filled with different colored grips as paths up to the top. Ben introduced me to his friend Helton, who had been rock climbing for years, which made me feel slightly better, although not enough to stop my palms from beginning to sweat. Before I could even utter a single sentence Ben was climbing up a wall. I stood on the ground absolutely bewildered.

"But…where are the ropes, the harnesses, you know, those lovely gadgets that keep me from falling on my ass?" Helton looked at me and laughed, apparently this question amused him. "Here we don’t use them, it’s just you and the wall." Great.

"You cannot be serious, what about release forms or insurance policies? What if I, you know…" He stopped me before I could finish. I whined for a few more minutes as he and Ben just nodded at me. This was a battle I had already lost.

After some more moaning, I finally agreed. They pointed out an ‘easy’ route and offered a few tips, I nodded and hoped I looked more confident then I felt. As I walked towards the wall my stomach began knotting itself into a big tangled mess, similar to my love life, but I won’t even start on that topic.

Ben handed me some chalk to dust my hands with, gave me a pat on my shoulder and told me I could do it. I turned around hesitantly, looked up and took a deep breath. With a few steps forward I was right up against the wall, as ready as I could be. I placed both of my hands where Ben had shown me to, took my first step up and began to climb. With each movement I felt all the muscles in my body tighten up. My breath got heavier and my heart raced. I gripped onto each plastic mould knowing that unfortunately the only place I would go was down.

Then, after I was a little bit higher than half way up the wall, I got stuck. "Ben!" I whined, "My leg doesn’t go that far! Can I just come down now?" Somehow, I knew what his reply would be, but I had to give it a try.

"Jaz, just pull yourself up a little more with your left hand and shift all your weight to your left side and then try. Trust me. You are so close." I turned my head away from the floor, which in my mind was miles down, closed my eyes for a second, and focused on his instructions. I swung my body to the left and I stretched my right leg to the next mould. With a little effort, an exhalation and some muscle tensing, I made it. The last few movements felt like baby steps compared to my last maneuver and as I got to the top I felt my smile growing wider. The adrenaline rush that flooded my body when I grabbed the top of the wall was amazing; it came with a wave of excitement and a sense of accomplishment.

That feeling, like a slap in the face of positive, adrenaline-fueled emotions is why, all hatred aside, I have kept at rock climbing ever since.